Obviously, I’ve been a little silent on the blog this week. Both thoughts posts and challenges have seemed to be lacking. It hasn’t been that I haven’t had anything to write – I’ve just not had the opportunity to write.
Or is it that I’ve not made the opportunity?
That thought hit me last night as I came to the end of my day. As I looked back over all I had gotten accomplished, I realized I’d continually pushed down the things I really wanted to do in favor of the things that I felt needed to be done. It left me frustrated and discouraged.
I have a tendency to think that if I like to do it, it’s selfish. So, I put everything else before what I enjoy. But, the truth is that those things I enjoy are things God instilled in me. For example, I love to write. Love it! The more I have grown in Christ, the more I have come to love it. He has grown and nurtured that passion – and He has confirmed it in me through others. So, why do I feel like I have to push that down to the bottom of the list? Why do I feel like I’m being selfish if I spend time writing?
When I live my life by a to-do list of obligations, I never fully accomplish those obligations. The kitchen will always be messy. Some room in the house will always need to be cleaned and organized. I will always move things like writing to the bottom of the list because the other things will never be done.
Now, please know that I’m not endorsing living in a pig sty of a house surrounded by neglected husband and children so that I can live my whole day sitting in front of the computer happily writing away. That’s not the point here.
The point is this – I have certain passions. I love to write, sew, read, and create. I can’t get away from writing without being reminded from some source that I need to get back to it. When I pray about gifts to give to others, the ideas that flood my mind always seem to come back to things I can sew or create. Reading continually grows and challenges me. These are all part of who I am. Who God has made me to be! How much of what God wants to do through me am I suffocating because I consider these selfish ways to spend my time and push them to the bottom of the list?
There is always a balance in such things, and I have not been balanced. It’s okay to do some of the things I love to do. In fact, sometimes I have a passion to do those things because they are what God is leading me to do as I seek to honor Him!
Here’s to learning that balance!