If I had to give one word that least describes me, that word would be…
I am by nature simply not bold. Not in my decision making ability. Not in my courage to share my opinion before knowing that at least one credible person shares that opinion. Not in any form of self-presentation or accomplishment.
Some people don’t believe me when I make this statement, but they have no idea how I feel inside each time I put myself out there.
Don’t believe me? Let me give you an example. Last week Doug and I renewed our cell phone contract and upgraded our phones. When our phones arrived, we began the tedious process of setting them up. One of the tasks involves setting up the menu display. What goes where. What is in what menu or folder or on what screen.
Now, keep in mind that this is my phone. I am really the only one who will regularly use it. It needs to fit my needs and be most easily conformed to my productivity. Yet I was nervous about setting it up. I was worried that I would put icons in the wrong place. That I would not organize it all in the best fashion. That someone (who??? I don’t know!) would be disappointed in me for the choices that I made.
Sounds ridiculous, doesn’t it? But, this is the battle that rages in my mind whenever I face a decision. Whenever I face a challenge.
It’s okay to not be good at certain things. That’s why we are the body – my weaknesses feed right into someone else’s strengths, and vice versa. But confidence and boldness are things that, although I may not have them on my own, I can – and should – have in Christ. In all honesty, a cell phone is pretty irrelevant in the grand scheme of things. It helps me accomplish some of the things God has laid before me, but it is just a tool. But the fact that I was able to actually overcome my anxiety and set up that phone to suit my needs rather than to please someone else is a big deal.
I am feeling more and more impressed to step out in certain areas, and that stepping out is requiring boldness. It’s requiring me to put myself out there instead of staying in my nice little comfort zone. Fortunately, God is letting me inch out. He’s letting me learn under the guidance of some phenomenal and confident people. And He’s allowing me to do things I absolutely love in the process.
Sometimes it’s okay to look at our weaknesses and step aside, realizing that other people can accomplish those tasks in a much better manner. But, other times we are handicapped when our so-called weaknesses hold us back from doing the very things we could do well. Sometimes we’re called to step out anyway.
What is God nudging you to do? Where is He calling you out in obedience? What is holding you back? Take a step of boldness with me and put all of your fears aside. I can’t promise you’ll always succeed. Sometimes my attempts at boldness cause me to fall flat on my face. Other times they cause me to come across as cocky and self-absorbed instead of confident. But, somehow I haven’t regretted even those times. Somehow even the failures are still worthwhile. That’s the thing I can promise you – if you step out and try, God’s affirmation will come. And that alone, my friend, is worth it all.