As I sit and stare at the page-long list of blog post ideas in front of me, none of them seem to fit my writing mood today. Sometimes the posts flow, and I can write four or five in one sitting and store them away for later posting. Other times, it seems to be all I can do to organize my thoughts for a single post. But today, it’s something different. Today I’m intrigued by a wonderment…what do people who only know me through my writing think of me?
I look back at some of my writing and realize that when I write and teach, I often have a tendency to be rather intense. This is serious stuff! And I am passionate about drawing others in to a more intimate relationship with Christ.
But serious intensity is not all there is to me.
There’s also the mommy part of me that shows up more on my family blog, The Hibbard Five.
But even that isn’t all there is to me.
I like being funny, but it’s something I have to work at. Smart comebacks just don’t come naturally to me, but I definitely appreciate them when they come from other people! I’m a romantic, to an extent. I’m also practical. I’m a recovering perfectionist. I could go on…but I won’t submit you to that torture.
It all leads me to wonder…am I being fake by only showing selective portions of myself on my blogs? Do I need to add more? How can I do it? What do I need to change? Will people like the change? Will people still read? Or will trying so hard just make me more fake? Or? Or? Or? Just typing the questions makes me want to go crazy!!
And then I remember…it’s not about me. Yes, there are many sides of me. True, only a few of them shine through on this blog, on my family’s blog, in my teaching, or in other social interactions. Also true, there are people who will determine that they like or dislike me based on the little snippet of me they see here. That may or may not remain true were they to meet me in person or see some of the other sides of me like my sense of humor or the kind of housekeeper I am. One final truth is that I want people to like me, whether in person or in the cyber world.
But, it’s not about me.
The more I grow spiritually, the more I am reminded that everything about me is supposed to be caught up in giving glory to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Therefore, the point of writing on any blog is not to make any single person happy or even help others get to know me. The point is glorifying Christ. That goal might be accomplished through serious, passionate posts. It might be accomplished through goofiness. It might even be accomplished through sharing how Jesus helped me refrain from selling my children to the gypsies. But the point is that is must be accomplished.
While I’d love for you to get to know the real me, and for me to get to know you as well, God’s glory is more essential. As I ponder that goal anew, I am re-encouraged in my writing. I am less pressured to write in a way that will please readers and more excited about writing as an outlet that expresses all the ways God is working in and around me. And as I write about the things that naturally flow from watching Him work, I just might find that the many sides of me start coming together more and more in the one task of glorifying Him.