Trust…why does it have to be such a continual battle?
I’ve been there before. More times than I would care to admit, actually. And then I falter and have to be brought right back again.
Last week I had one of those moments when I had to be reminded yet again. I was writing my morning prayer in my journal. The journal I’ve been using for seven months or so has a Bible verse printed on every other page. As I wrote out my prayer for the morning, my eyes happened to wander over to the verse on the next page…
Trust in the LORD with all your heart
And do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He will make your paths straight.
Such familiar words. But they met me right where I was, in need of trusting. I think I woke up with anxiety bubbling under the surface, and it was threatening to rise further. It wasn’t that there were huge horrible things looming over me. It was just normal, daily life. Creating a schedule and routine for the kids for our month-long school break. Determining my own schedule. Working down the list for the day and the month. Just basic things. But some days even the most basic things require the reminder that we can trust.
But, on that particular morning a deeper thought popped into my mind. It isn’t just that I can trust. It is that I must trust.
This is not a suggestion. It is an imperative. It is a command. While it is a statement of comfort, it is not simply expressed to us for the purpose of being comforting. It is expressed to us for the purpose of reminding us that we are commanded to trust!
Let me illustrate it this way. Nearly every morning my family has smoothies for breakfast. My ten-year-old has started making the extra large smoothie that gets split between her and her two siblings. She is perfectly capable of making the smoothie on her own. I can trust her with that task. But sometimes I choose not to. Sometimes I choose to do it on my own. Maybe she didn’t get up early enough to be on top of things. Maybe we need to move more quickly than she is able. Maybe we’re just working on it together. Whatever the reason, I choose not to act upon my trust in her.
When I focus simply on the fact that I can trust God, it is almost like I trust Olivia to make smoothies. Some days I say, “You know what? I know you can take care of this, but I think it might just be better if I handle it today. Sound alright? I’ll give it back to you tomorrow.”
Something tells me that’s not the best way to approach trusting God.
When I realize that I must trust God, I acknowledge that I cannot handle it. Ever. Even those basic daily things. I have to have Him. He has to be the one to accomplish it. Otherwise my path will not be straight.
So today, I will trust. Simply because I must.