I did not want to write. A sluggish day ended in frustration over an issue with one of my children. Agitation and irritability fought to consume my attitude. The nagging feeling that I should have accomplished much more during the day mocked me. No, I had no interest in writing.
I called up the blog and stared at it. The words “The Joy of Writing” stared back at me.
“What if there is no joy in the writing?” I thought. “What if I have no desire to do it? What do I do then? Skip it?”
The answer came to me immediately. I could not skip it. I could not even fake it. I had to find it.
So, I sit here right now intentionally writing. Yes, tonight is that night. You will read this in the morning. It will be a new day with new promises and challenges. But as I write this, all of the emotions of the day are present and immediate. Even so, I feel the joy begin to seep back in just because I chose to sit down and find it.
The joy does not come from writing itself. It comes from the fact that there is only one way I can fill an empty page. I have to pray first. I will not tell you that the words always flow perfectly and smoothly just because I pray. In fact, I frequently still have to pound them out with great thought, intention, and focus. Prayer is not a magic wand for writing any more than it is for anything else. Instead, prayer is a connection to the Joy-Giver and to the One who compels me to write. No matter how hard I might try, my writing cannot truly and successfully exist without prayer. Writing is just one of the ways I listen as He speaks back to my heart.
I cannot genuinely pray without some measure of joy invading in the process. Not happiness. Not an erasing of negative feelings. Those things do tend to come with time as my attitude truly finds adjustment, but the immediate is simply that joy that restores the desire of my heart to commune with my Savior. To please Him.
In the process, the writing flows. Joyfully.
Peace washes over me. I smile. I relax. I enjoy the company of my husband and thank the Lord for the sleet and freezing temperatures that canceled his meeting tonight. Other thoughts of thanksgiving course through my mind. The bad attitude fades away and hope for tomorrow flows through instead.
The joy of writing has returned…because of the joy of the Lord.
