Obviously, I’m a bit later than usual on the day’s thought.
I’ve been contemplating just what to write. I’ve looked back through journals and pondered my day.
I’ve edited what other people have written, both blog posts and reviews. I’ve written two book reviews and contemplated a third. But none of those seemed to stir up my writing thoughts.
Often when I can’t think of something to write, it’s because I’m not allowing God to move in my heart and mind. I’m closed off and somewhat hardened. Or perhaps I’m distracted by my busyness and just not paying attention. Maybe I’m caught up in emotions or in my own little world.
Today, though, none of those seem to be the case. I have sensed God’s voice on multiple occasions throughout the day, and I am contemplating what He’s been stirring in my heart and mind. But it just isn’t anything that needs to be shared. Oh, it’s not some secret. It’s not an overly personal issue that I don’t want anyone to know about. It’s just not blog-worthy. It’s a series of chats between Him and me that I have no reason to share.
I love that. I really, really love that.
You see, so often I need to write to process. Sometimes it is hard for my brain to slow down enough to really listen to what the Lord is saying to me unless I have a journal in hand or a keyboard at my fingertips. Focusing on one word at a time makes me focus on His voice.
But today I’ve been able to just chat. About everything. About nothing. I’ve been able to hear Him share little tidbits with me that haven’t had to be worked through and processed. Just heard and internalized.
It’s a breakthrough. One I’ve been desiring for a long time. This is how I want to abide in Him. This is how I want to communicate with Him. But it requires a deep training of the mind. A focus of thought that doesn’t come overnight. It comes with practice. It comes with determination. It comes with will and discipline. It comes with consistency.
Don’t get me wrong – it hasn’t come easily today! It has been interrupted by the normal insanity that constantly runs through my mind! But, I like that the insanity has interrupted the sweetness instead of me having to force the sweetness to calm the insanity. That’s very nice. It makes me want to continue to fight for the sweetness tomorrow. And the next day. And the next.
I will always have to process certain things by writing them out and sharing them with others. It’s who I am. And I love it! But it’s also nice to just enjoy the private chit-chats. Yes, I think I might be able to get used to this!