Posted in Marriage

Marriage Monday: That Thing He Does

During our last three years in the Memphis area, my husband worked for UPS. He had the lovely task of loading trucks every day. Not the lovely brown trucks that deliver wonderful packages to your house. No, he loaded the feeders that make sure those packages get from their point of origin to the lovely brown truck and on to your house in two days.

You have probably driven by the huge distribution centers lined with trailer bays. Now imagine working inside one.

Unfortunately, for those three years all I could do was imagine. I never got to see the inside of the UPS hub where Doug worked. I had to rely on descriptions.

That was hard for me. You see, all of our married life, I’d known Doug’s work. I’d known his coworkers. I’d seen his work place. In fact, I visited it regularly. But not at UPS. I knew only one coworker. And I relied on stories.

Fortunately, Doug told stories. He described. He tried to paint a picture for me so I would know what his work day and place looked like. He laid the groundwork from day one. So, when day 483 (along with many other days!) was especially trying, he could share his thoughts with few words because he knew I understood the background.

That has been phenomenal for our marriage. He knows that even if I have never experienced his work, he can still talk to me about it.

I never cease to be amazed by the number of people who really have no clue what their spouses do. Oh, they know the general environment. They know some names of coworkers. But, they have no idea what a typical work day looks like. They don’t understand what causes stress. They know little about what creates a good or bad day.

When we cannot turn to our spouses with our successes and frustrations, where do we turn? To the people who “get” us. To the people who understand. Our coworkers. Others in the field.

Where does that leave our spouses? Out in the cold.

Where does that leave our marriages? Growing cold.

It is so vital that we share the details of each day with our spouses. Let him know what your work entailed today. Let her know about your interactions, successes, and failures.

Doug and I still have to work at this, even though we share an office now. Even sitting across the room from one another, it is easy to get focused on our own screens, our own work, and our own online interactions. We still have to actively share. We still have to talk. We each still have to be intentionally involved in the work of the other.

How interested are you in the daily life of your spouse? How much do you know about the challenges and successes that define each week? I encourage you to take it up a notch today. Be involved. Show your spouse that you are a safe place for understanding and sharing. And see how it grows your relationship. See what doors for ministry and fellowship it opens.

It’s well worth the effort.


I am a homeschooling preacher's wife and managing editor for the Well Planned Gal. But, I also love to write just for the fun of it. I also process best through writing, and my thoughts tend to flow from things I learn through the Bible, interacting with my family, and moving through life in general. Thanks for joining me in my not quite ordinary journey.

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