Posted in Marriage

Marriage Monday: My Competent Spouse, Pt. 1

We’re all guilty of it, aren’t we? We’d rather do things ourselves because someone else couldn’t possibly do it correctly. Or maybe just not well enough.

Okay, okay – no one else can do it MY way!

This seems to be especially true of our spouses.

The old-fashioned, King James word for a wife’s relationship to her husband is “help meet.” Many see that to be a subservient, inferior, or negative term. But, I love it. It reminds me that I have the incredible privilege of supporting, strengthening, encouraging, and building up my amazing husband. What an honor! What a joy!

Yet when I indicate that my husband is incompetent by criticizing how he accomplishes tasks, or when I jump to do things because I don’t believe he can do them well enough, I relinquish that honorable role. Instead of supporting and building up, I tear down. My criticisms weaken and discourage him when I should instead be strengthening and encouraging him with my words.

Ladies, our husbands are incredibly competent. No, they do not do things the same way we do. They do not make decisions according to our fashion. And, in some areas, it is true – we do certain things better than they do. But don’t forget that there are many, many other ways in which they are more accomplished.

And in every way, they are competent.

We live in a society that argues equality. Woman has to be as strong as man. As successful as man. As accomplished as man. As capable as man. I could go on and on.

Unfortunately, that mentality sets women up to diminish men. Why? Because until we are truly as accomplished, we must find a way to bring them down to our level to even the playing field.

Fortunately, we have truth on our side! We know that God created each of us beautifully. He created husband and wife to fit together in perfection for the purpose of glorifying Him as a single unit.

What a beautiful picture!!

Ladies, our husbands might not notice what we notice. They might not complete tasks just like we do. But, instead of being critical of them because of it, what if we were to recognize that their differences are amazingly wonderful?

What if we were to praise their competence?

Oh, what a difference it would make in our marriages! Oh what an example it would present to this world! Oh, what a pattern it would establish for our children!

And oh, how it would raise the head and shoulders of our incredibly competent husbands, allowing them the freedom to walk in strength and honor.


I am a homeschooling preacher's wife and managing editor for the Well Planned Gal. But, I also love to write just for the fun of it. I also process best through writing, and my thoughts tend to flow from things I learn through the Bible, interacting with my family, and moving through life in general. Thanks for joining me in my not quite ordinary journey.

What are your thoughts? I'd love to hear from you!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s