Posted in What I'm Learning

Mindful Leisure

The more I think about rest, the more I have to analyze, practically, what that looks like. If I were to put the question to the wide, wide world, I would probably receive many responses related to leisure.

Our culture is all about leisure.

We live for weekends and holidays, during which we want to unplug from everything. We have movies, books, video games, ball games, amusement parks, and all manner of activities that allow us to escape life for just a little while as we supposedly rest.

So, why do we stay exhausted all the time?

I think it’s because rest was never meant to be mindless. It was never intended as escapism. Yet, so much of our leisure is just that. It’s mindless.

Now, I’m not saying that the activities I mentioned are bad. But, when we approach them as escapism, they become something that sucks the life out of us instead of pouring it back in. If we’re going to enjoy a good ball game, snuggle up for a movie, read a book, head to an amusement park, or engage in any other activity, we need to be intentional to engage in them mindfully. We must choose to actively explore how we can avoid the mindlessness that rises as the archenemy of rest.

What does this look like?

Well, that’s just it. This is all a work in progress for me. A mission of discovery. I am creative in many ways, but I do not think outside the box well. I have a hard time breaking the mold of what has been exemplified for me. If I dislike the mold, I am more inclined to leave it empty than to recreate the shape. I know I cannot leave this one empty, but I am often stumped as to how to change it. Fortunately for minds like mine, changing the mold often starts with evaluating the mold itself to see if there are useful aspects to it.

For instance, think of one thing that so many of us struggle with: time on the Internet.

We “hop on” for a “quick” look, only to find we have wasted thirty minutes without realizing it. How can we turn that around? By choosing to be purposeful in our time on the web. Think about Pinterest. Many of my friends laugh at me because I avoid Pinterest as often as possible. It’s a bottomless pit of overwhelming. But, when I have a specific task to accomplish, it can be very helpful. I choose my keywords, set a time limit, start a search, and then take my finds and go apply them to whatever project I wanted to tackle. A few years ago, ten minutes on Pinterest and a couple of hours of sewing resulted in several adorable gowns for my girlies to pack for camp. I had so much fun making those gowns, and the whole experience was one of mindful leisure and rest.

Mindfulness. Intentionality. Purposefulness. And fun! That is actually restful!

I have so much to learn about rest. How to avoid feeling guilty when I say no to people so I can obediently rest. How to balance personal and family rest. How to anticipate the Sabbath so I don’t spend the first few hours of the day wandering aimlessly trying to figure out what to do to avoid the mindless leisure that so often comes to mind first (and never satisfies!).

But I am excited to know that God will teach me as I discipline myself to rest His way. Mindfully.

 

Posted in What I'm Learning

One Sentence at a Time

Sometimes a great idea for organization or structure or time management flows through my mind. I try it. It works. I begin to implement it and see the difference. I share it here. Then something happens to derail that wonderful thing.

April was a month of derailment. Looking back, I accomplished one single thing: I finished my large, annual writing project. But, in the process, just about everything else fell apart. And I mean everything. Almost no grading was accomplished in the month of April. Writing, other than that one project, was nonexistent. Discipline went out the window, as did motivation and inspiration. I pulled off a column, two blog posts, and a book review in April, but little else. May was even worse.

My husband looked at me recently and said, “You’re struggling because you’re not writing.” He’s right. Every area of my life is a challenge. But, every time I sit down to write, the blank screen or blank notebook page mocks me. Even writing for work has been a challenge. How in the world can I get past this? How can I improve when the one thing that will help me just won’t come?

By writing just one sentence at a time.

I intended to give a blog post a go on Monday, but fear of the blank screen caused me to avoid it. I had no accountability. So, that night, I told my husband I would write a blog post the next day. At some point, I’d just sit down and do it. I’d make myself write one sentence. Then another. Then another. Accountability. One stage of discipline and one small measure of motivation.

Maybe the sentences, when compiled, would make sense. Maybe they wouldn’t. But at least I would be trying.

One sentence at a time.

You see, I’m a finisher. I like to see a project through to its completion. But I also struggle when the project is huge and finishing seems so far away. Small, manageable tasks that I can check off are helpful, but often I have trouble breaking the big picture down into small manageable bites. So, I get easily overwhelmed by the big picture.

And lately, even a single article has felt like too great of a project.

So, as I sit down now to write, I choose to break it down. One thought. One sentence. Word by word. I can do that.

And just like that, I have over 400 words. Not the greatest blog post in the world. Not worthy of publication anywhere other than my own blog – if even there. But it’s a start.

And right now, that’s what I need. A start. Choosing to actively work to put discipline, motivation, and inspiration back into place.

One sentence at a time.

Posted in Wednesday Work, What I'm Learning

Walking Away

Over the years, I’ve seen a lot of people walk away from Facebook or take breaks. I’ve thought about it many times myself but have never actually done it. After all, that’s where my work “office” is and it’s the way I interact with various groups for ministry and productivity purposes. And, in all honesty, there are certain people I only interact with via Facebook because of our distance. Frankly, I don’t think it was the right time for me to pull back before now.

Now, however, it seems to be a different story.

I’ve come to realize three things.

1. When I rely on Facebook interaction for local friends, I am much less likely to interact with them on a face to face level. I’ve already seen their pictures or heard about their week. Why ask? Ouch. Facebook can only go so deep. I need to be face-to-face if at all possible.
2. There is far too much to wade through in a Facebook stream. Too many friends. Too many statuses. Too much time. And the important stuff is too easily missed.
3. When I rely on Facebook to interact, I don’t write. I can look back over the last few years and see this as a proven fact. Posting to Facebook instead of to the family blog reduced my posting there. Facebook posts are short, uninformative, and easily lost. On the blog, however, I have to force myself to explain and give details – and I can easily read and reread the posts as the kids grow! That’s a big deal to me.
I also wrote less on my personal blog because it was so much easier to offer a Facebook blurb than to process my thoughts enough for a blog post. When you can share brief thoughts, why bother to hash them out?

Why? Because I need to.

So, now I believe it’s time to start walking away. I’ve narrowed down my friends greatly and will continue to do so in the coming year. Those who are left will be there for very specific and personal reasons. It’s not that I don’t enjoy keeping up with the people I “unfriended.” I do! I just want to keep up with them more intentionally and personally.

(That word intentional just keeps showing up!)

It’s not easy. I still have Facebook. I still have quite a few nonlocal friends to try to keep up with. But, I have already seen a positive change with local friends as we are more intentional about our face-to-face interactions.

So, if you don’t see me on Facebook anymore, that’s why. I’ll be writing more here and on the family blog. And I’ll be trying to interact with you more personally. I might need help, and it will take balance as I still have to manage a full homeschool, writing, work, and church schedule. But, I look forward to seeing how this choice to walk away strengthens the ability to be more intentional in writing and in relationships.

Meanwhile, here’s my question for you. As you work to walk more closely with the Lord and with your community of believers, is there something you need to or have walked away from? If you feel comfortable, I’d love for you to share either here or in person! After all, I had to wrestle with this decision because other people have mentioned their own wrestling. That’s community, my friends. You are part of my community, and I’d love to see us encourage one another in this journey!

Posted in Wednesday Work, What I'm Learning

Five Minutes

What do you do when you have five unoccupied minutes?

You know, those time slots when you’re waiting for noodles to cook or for a child to finish something so you can progress onward together. When you need to leave soon, but if you leave right this minute you’ll be earlier than you want to be. So, you are trying to just kill time.

I have five minute slots throughout my day. The work timer I use (Tomighty’s Pomodoro) has three sets of times: a 25-minute work slot, a 5-minute break, and a 15-minute break. When I first started using the timer, I interpreted “break” to mean completely fluff. Walk away and do something – I don’t know – brainless. Just pass five (or fifteen) minutes not doing work.

I don’t like brainless, and my breaks were annoying instead of restful. That led to a habit of ignoring the timer and just continuing with what I was doing right through the break, then diving into a new 25-minute work session. Kind of defeats the point.

So, I’m trying something new.

I definitely need the time constraints. I’ve shared before how I work better when I know I need to stick to __________ for 25 minutes. So, what about doing the same for the 5 and 15 minute slots?

I’ve already shared how one 15-minute slot per day is going to reading. I’ve also directed both 5- and 15-minutes slots to completing a section in DuoLingo or reading about one part of speech in the German grammar book we’re using to fill in the gaps left by the immersion style training of Rosetta Stone. I run up and down the stairs to the garage a few times in a 5-minute slot or do a quick workout session with the kids in 15 minutes. I prep one part of lunch, take a bathroom break, chase one of the kids around, or give a hug. All of these things are little ways I am learning to make my “breaks” both restful and productive. Even when I do something productive, my break feels so much more restful when I don’t want the break on a mindless roam through Facebook (which is why I’m pulling back from Facebook this year!) or just keep working because I don’t want to be mindless.

Amid all of the things I’m trying as I work to grow more productive, I’m still struggling with writing time. How can I get a rhythm and flow to writing that fits even as life fills up again? I’ve always felt like I needed a large block of time to really “get into” my writing. Half an hour. An hour. Even more. That just feels impossible. And, in all honesty, it is impossible in my current phase of life. I’m not a night owl who can write into the night after everyone is in bed, surviving on just a few hours of sleep. I don’t function that way. Yet my days are full. What’s the answer?

A month or two ago, I realized just how much I could get written in a 25-minute work slot if I put my mind to it. But, just recently the question occurred to me: what about 15 minutes? What can I do in that amount of time? Maybe I can’t get a truly coherent post or chapter section written, but I can brainstorm. I can furiously type up a general idea that I can go back and refine later. Or, I can spend fifteen minutes editing something I have already written. I can play with design.

If that’s what I can do in 15 minutes, what can I do in 5 minutes? Could I create a skeleton of what’s in my head, just typing whatever outline comes to my mind before the timer goes “ding”? Can I create a graphic? Get an edited post scheduled? Create chapter organization in Scrivener? Come up with titles?

I’ve become increasingly amazed by how many 5 minute segments I tend to waste during the day. And, I’ve been even more amazed by how much I can accomplish in those brief segments. I have succeeded in changing that on many levels, but now I think it just might be part of the writing solution. So, that’s what I’m trying: answering the question, “What can I write in five minutes?”

So, what about you? What can you do in 5 minutes?

Posted in What I'm Learning

What I’m Trying

Often when I write a “What Works for Me” or “What I Do” post, it really should fit into another category. Because, in all honesty, I haven’t done it long enough to definitely say it works for me. I try to communicate that as I write, but the truth is I am constantly trying.

A friend of mine wrote a post recently about continuously trying, and it made me stop and think. I’m not as adventurous as she is. I would often rather keep doing what I am doing than try something new. I have never been one to take a dare. I have never been one to tackle something just because it was put in front of me. I need a reason, or at least an interest or a sense that I just might be good at it. Even so, the idea presented in her post definitely resonated with me. I, too, am constantly trying. I don’t tend jump at things put in front of me like she does (although sometimes I’d really love to be that kind of person!), but I am always wanting to improve.

I want to challenge myself. Not because I crave it or enjoy it, but because I want to grow, and I know that is the only way to grow.

So, I, like my friend, am continuously trying. I’m trying to be a more aware and supportive wife. I’m trying to be a more engaged mom. I’m trying to improve my writing skills and increase my writing content. I’m trying to challenge my brain and increase its sharpness by reading nonfiction and learning languages. (Yes, languages…plural. Because I’m beyond crazy.)

But, in order to effectively try, I have to break these things down. They can’t just be general resolutions to be better at ______________. I have to have specific actions. So, I’m creating a new writing category: What I’m Trying.

I doubt it truly matters to you, my readers, how I categorize each and every post on my blog. But this new category will help me. It will encourage me to mentally distinguish between What I Do (the responsibilities that truly drive each day and week’s focus), What Works for Me (those things that are tried and true and really have proven to have long term effectiveness in my life), and What I’m Trying (those things that have come to mind when I have prayed for a solution to some issue in life – things that need to be tested and tried before I categorize them as temporary guidance, stepping stones to improvement, or What Works for Me solutions).

I think we all need a way to categorize those concepts in our heads. Why? Because we often get complacent in what we do and the things that work for us, and we don’t challenge ourselves to try new things – to better ourselves. It’s just easier to maintain the status quo. I’d love for you to join me and share what you’re trying so we can encourage and motivate one another.

So, my friend, please do share…what new thing are you trying?

Posted in What I'm Learning

Reading

Anyone who knows us knows that we are a family of readers. I’m probably the least well-read member of my family, partially because of other obligations, but also because I often just don’t take the time to read. But, I do have a huge stack of books I really want to conquer.

Last Year

Last year, I decided to become more aggressive about conquering that stack, determining to always have two books going. The first would be something fiction, primarily because that is my number one way to relax. For years, I limited my fiction reading to slow times. But, I’m learning that rest does not come by waiting until after everything is done or life is slow. (When does that really happen, anyway?) It comes by trusting God to take care of the needs while I obey and take moments or days of rest. One of my active steps toward rest has been to intentionally keep a novel going. It might be just a chapter at night before I go to bed two or three nights a week, followed by a little more reading time on Fridays. But, it’s always progress.

The second book would always be a nonfiction title. I’m not a strong nonfiction reader, and it is very easy to not ever get around to that stack. But, the more I read nonfiction, the easier it becomes. So, while intentionally reading fiction was about rest, being intentional about nonfiction was an effort to stretch myself and grow. Last year, I chose titles I could read in short bursts during my morning Bible and prayer time. Again, it wasn’t much each day – typically only a section from a chapter, rather than even an entire chapter. But, I saw more progress through nonfiction than I have seen in a long time! Through the course of the year, I read several great books that way, including Aimee Byrd’s Housewife Theologian, Ken Shigematsu’s God in My Everything, and The Rest of God by Mark Buchanan.

What’s New

This year, I’m continuing the trend, but I’m adding a third reading slot to the schedule. I have a list of “want to read” titles that don’t really fit in my morning Bible reading and devotional time. These titles are aimed to help me with my writing goals, show me a little bit of what it means to adopt a child, or strengthen my ability to teach. So, on “normal” days, one work break will be a fifteen minute time slot set aside for reading one of those books.

Right now, I actually have six books going, which is incredibly odd for a gal who is typically a “one book at a time” kind of reader. But, that’s temporary. I just had some time-sensitive reads that needed to be tackled – including some school titles that I need to read alongside my high schooler. I’ve got a good rotation schedule going, and I’m enjoying every single book!

Right Now

Here are the titles I’m currently enjoying:

  • Catalyst – a Star Wars novel, prequel to Rogue One. The rest of the family has already read it, and considered it a fast read (a few hours). That means I’ll hopefully have it done in about a week!
  • The Heart of Revelation by J. Scott Duvall
  • Words That Change Everything by Karen Jordan
  • Passion and Purity by Elisabeth Elliot
  • Can You Drink This Cup? by Henri Nouwen
  • Self-Promotion for Introverts by Nancy Ancowitz

Meanwhile, I am finally making use of the Goodreads account I’ve had for a while, entering upcoming titles so I’ll be able to just glance at my list to pick my next read.

What about you?

Are you a reader? Do you make time to read, or do you just read when you can? What are some of your favorite – or current – reads?