Over the last couple of weeks, I’ve had writing ideas form in my mind at odd times. The problem with those odd times has been that they were not times when I could jot down my ideas or talk them out with other people…at least not in that instant. And by the time I could get to a spot to jot them down, sometimes just a few minutes later, they were gone.
I could be concerned about my memory (and maybe I should be!), but this is just normal life for me and has been for, well, pretty much all of my life. “Great” ideas pop in and out of my head in an annoying instant, leaving me wishing I could have a running recording of my brain to reference whenever I wanted to retrieve those amazing thoughts.
But, then I have to ask the question…are they really that amazing?
Long ago, I started praying that God would bring back to my mind any thoughts I’d forgotten that were truly good, true, righteous, and worthy to be shared. I’d forced things enough times to know that sometimes I just needed to let ideas go instead of trying to explain them. There are times when He has brought the ideas back, sometimes in even greater clarity. But many other times, including the last couple of weeks, the ideas have just disappeared, never to return.
I have to trust that they weren’t worthy of sharing.
That realization leaves me wondering about my words on a daily basis. All of those things that I just say when they come to mind. My responses during a discussion or conversation. My spur-of-the-moment ideas that burst from me at a time when I can say them out loud to someone. My answers to questions. My reactions to emotional experiences, both positive and negative.
What if I couldn’t say any of those things immediately? What if I always had to wait at least a few minutes, with life and thoughts and interactions moving on without truly leaving space for preserving those words? How many of those words would endure? How many of the things I feel I just have to say would prove to be truly worthy?
What if we always had to wait? How much would change about our speech? Our relationships? Our interactions?
Sometimes I actually do bite my tongue. I don’t say what I think I should say. What I think would fit so perfectly. And often when I succeed in that endeavor, I find within a couple of minutes that my words would not have been helpful. I discover that silence fit much better.
That’s not to indicate that everything we say is bad. But sometimes waiting, just a few moments even, can make all the difference in our ability to live out the psalmist’s prayer that the words of our mouths and the meditations of our heart would be acceptable to our Redeemer (Psalm 19:14).
We are not forced to wait. But we can develop that habit. We can pause, just for a moment, and listen to the Spirit’s wisdom. We can choose to wait for Him to affirm our words as being a taste of righteousness or convict us of the need to guard our tongues.
That’s a habit I want to develop. I’m far from it, but I want it to be my aim. I hunger to always pause, to hear the Spirit’s voice well, and to have both my words and my silence be a positive contribution to the nourishment and encouragement of those around me.
I don’t have to wait. But I want to choose to wait.
Not Quite Ordinary 