Category: Thoughts

Posted in Thoughts from Life, What I Do

Working Mom

Posted on by Ann B. Hibbard

I have a question for you. When you think of your identity, what title do you give to yourself? I have several. Pastor’s Wife. Homeschool Mom. Writer. Editor. And, up until recently, Stay at Home Mom.

Has something changed? you might ask. In fact, I can almost see the wondering on the faces of some friends, wondering if I’ve suddenly decided to put the kids in school and work outside the home. And, no, it’s nothing like that. It’s more of a discovery.

Defining Stay at Home Mom

It’s a realization that for many, many years, I’ve struggled with my role as a mom.

I have this mental definition for the “Stay at Home Mom” title. It’s a mom who essentially structures her life around the care of her home and family. Everything else is secondary.

For fifteen years, I’ve called myself a stay at home mom. But, can I share a little secret with you? I have never fit the boundaries of my own definition, and I have always felt the conflict of that without ever understanding why.

Just recently, it all clicked in my head when I realized that I have actually worked for nine of my fifteen years of motherhood. And, in the years I didn’t work, I always had something specific to focus on. In the early years of motherhood, it was photo editing. I loved to take pictures, keep them well organized on my computer, and edit them in a variety of ways. Later, I started writing and discovered the world of product and book reviews. Only now do I see that I looked upon both of those “hobbies” as jobs.

Only now do I see that I’m not really a stay at home mom, and I never have been. On the contrary, I have always been a working mom. The whole time.

A Beautiful Mental Shift

Admitting that is a big deal for me, because I realize I have always felt a bit ashamed of my jobs – ashamed that I enjoyed them more than keeping up with my home or cooking for my family. It’s not that I preferred being away from my family. Quite the contrary! I love being with my family. But, I’ve always preferred the work that is not home related. The more I loved my jobs, the more I felt like a stay-at-home mom failure.

Something about the simple admission that I am a working mom changes so much in my head. You see, like many of my friends who also work – some from home and others outside the home, both in part-time and full-time capacities – I still prioritize my family. I shape my work options around doing what’s best for my family. I work in a way that allows me to homeschool. I work in a way that makes me available to my children when they need me, while still setting parameters and boundaries for work time. My family is no less of a priority. But, the care of my home is not my job. It’s a joint responsibility for every family member.

I cannot even begin to explain how that admission has eliminated conflict for me. That realization has helped me interact better with my children. It will allow me to share responsibilities of home care more freely, rather than feeling like a failure because I thought I couldn’t keep up with my job.

I’m a work in a way that most vibrantly nourishes my family working mom.

And, do you know what? I still highly value stay at home moms. But I also absolutely love who I am and what I do.

What about you? What title have you adopted? Does it fit?

Posted in Faith Nuggets, Thoughts from Scripture

Who Are My Counselors?

Posted on by Ann B. Hibbard

Recently, I was reading 2 Samuel 10 in my daily Bible reading. What a sad story. Because King Hanun listened to the bad advice of his princes, a series of battles followed that cost hundreds of lives.
I can’t help but compare this to Rehoboam in 1 Kings 12 or King Xerxes and Haman in the book of Esther. Even Absalom in 2 Samuel 17 is an example of following bad advice, even though we all cheer when we read his story, knowing that Hushai’s counsel was actually intentionally given to save the lives of King David and the people with him.
Considering all of these stories, I can’t help but come to a couple of conclusions.

Counsel is important.

There’s a lot of cockiness wrapped up in every one of the personalities mentioned above. Yet, each one of them sought counsel. Even with their high opinion of themselves, they still sought out the counsel of others.
Most of what we observe in the character and behavior of these men is not admirable, and we should not strive to emulate it. Except in this one thing. Like them, we should never be too proud to seek counsel.
But, we should remember a second reality that these men, sadly, ignored.

Our choice in counsel is even more important.

This is where I’ve been parked lately. How do I choose my counselors? Do I seek out those who will simply support what I already want to do? Do I look for the popular or easy to follow advice? Or do I see advisers that will steer me well, regardless of my desires?

The wise choice seems obvious, doesn’t it? Yet, so often that wisdom does not flow through into our practical choices. We instead surround ourselves with advisers and counselors who advise based on practical ideas or pros and cons or what they see will make us happiest or what will keep our relationships and status quo running smoothly.
The advice we need has nothing to do with the most practical option or even our happiness or relationships. It has to do with the will of the Lord. In fact, far more often than not, His will seems to completely contradict the practical and “obvious” route. His will involves trust even when the path is not clear. It involves obedience even when the results seem painful.
Godly advisers will help us know how to trust and obey. Are those the counselors we seek?

Posted in Thoughts from Life, What Works for Me

Time for Change

Posted on by Ann B. Hibbard

People who know me well know that I like to change things up, especially in my house. The fact that we have rearranged very little in our house over the past year shows just how crazy the year has been!

But, contrary to what some people may believe, I do not like change for the sake of change. In fact, I often shy away from change as strongly as the person who has lived in the same house, with the same furniture arrangement, for forty years. Change in and of itself is not fun. The benefits, though, are great. Perhaps that is why I enjoy changing things up – I have lived a life full of changes and moves and rearrangements and I have seen and enjoyed the positive results too many times in my life to ignore the fact that it can be a good thing.

Change reduces clutter.

Whether it is in a home, a schedule, or a heart, change helps us see where we have piled up junk and forces us to at least acknowledge the junk. Even if we just move it from one place to another, we cannot ignore it. We have to recognize. Over time, if we are growing in maturity, we will deal with the junk and clean up the clutter in our lives. We’ll free up space to move in our homes, space to serve in our schedules, and space for the Lord to reign in our hearts.

Change deals with problems.

Have you ever experienced the ripple effect of a schedule that no longer functions? As a homeschooler, I have dealt with that many times! Our needs change, and sometimes that old routine causes more harm than good. The same is true in all aspects of our lives. We cling to what used to work, even after it no longer functions properly. As a result, we often find ourselves struggling unnecessarily. A simple tweak is all we need to get back on track.

Change brings freshness.

There is a reason we are inclined toward spring cleaning! We get stuck in ruts that make everything seem stale. Spring cleaning – even if nothing is drastically changed – shakes things up a bit and freshens up the stale. Whether we realize it or not, that alone is change, and it does not just impact our homes. It impacts our emotions and sense of freedom.

Right now we’re praying about changes in our family schedule and routine. What will help our mornings run more smoothly, giving us a peaceful start to the day instead of leaving us feeling rushed and behind? What will allow us to interact more fully with our neighbors whose schedules seem so different from our own? What will ensure that we all get the rest we need while maximizing each day? All of this will throw us out of rhythm for a bit, but once it’s all said and done, I think we’ll feel more refreshed than we have felt in a long time!

No, I don’t love change just for the sake of change. But, the benefits are truly wonderful!

Posted in Faith Nuggets, Thoughts from Scripture

Thus Far & Beyond

Posted on by Ann B. Hibbard

In my personal writing files, I have all sorts of little notes with topics I’d love to write about. I include memory triggers and thoughts, but none of them are fleshed out. Yet, so many times as I sit down to write, I read through the old thoughts intending to utilize them, only to end up writing something new. The new might be inspired by the old, but it’s never quite a fleshing out of those old thoughts.

Eventually, I want to go back and flesh out those old thoughts. But as I sit down today and start from scratch yet again, I’m reminded why it’s so important for me to jot down those thoughts, even if I never use them to create a blog post, article, or even a book chapter (maybe someday!).

Those thoughts are my Ebenezers.

The Bible is replete with remembrances. The Israelites are continually pointed back to their origins and the stories of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Even in the New Testament, the majority of Stephen’s sermon as he is on trial before the Jewish leaders recalls the history of Israel (Acts 7). Remembrance of the work of God in this world is critical to our growth. We cannot go forward if we do not build on what brought us here in the first place.

And that is why, in 1 Samuel 7, the prophet Samuel set up a stone and named it Ebenezer. He knew the people needed a tangible reminder of God’s work among them, not only His historical work of their exodus from Egypt and early settlement in the land of promise, but also of His recent work in redeeming them after they had turned from Him yet again.

Scripture is my solid foundation. It is the history that I must know and constantly learn more about in order to grow. But, my Ebenezers are my personal experiences. They are my “thus far the Lord has helped ME” reminders. They are personal.

But I cannot stop there.

“Thus far” indicates that this is not the end. God wants to take me further. Where I have been is critical, for all of my past experiences are critical building blocks of my faith. And I need to remember and revisit those lessons. I need to keep them in my heart and mind and even go back and dust them off and clean them up now and then to make sure those lower blocks are not decaying as I try to build on top of them.

But, if I only reminisce on and flesh out my Ebenezers, then I am effectively preventing any new growth. I’m keeping the lower blocks clean and fresh, but never adding to them. That causes me to transfer my focus to the Ebenezers themselves and away from the Lord who has brought me to each and every point.

So, today, I am enjoying going back and reading through some of those Ebenezers. And, at some point, I’ll probably flesh them out and share them, little by little. But for today, I’m building a new block. I’m setting a new stone. I’m thanking the Lord for His faithfulness to bring me even further, past my last Ebenezer and to my current one.

Thus far the Lord has helped me. And, oh how beautiful to know that He will not stop here!

Posted in Faith Nuggets, Thoughts, Thoughts from Life

Living on the Lake

Posted on by Ann B. Hibbard

Two weeks ago today, we were starting our meandering trip home after several glorious vacation days. The time away didn’t quite turn out like we’d planned at first. At the last minute, we found ourselves scrambling to make a backup plan. Well, a backup plan for us. I can’t help but think that it was actually God’s original plan.

Instead of staying in a hotel and with friends, all of which would have been a treat and fine and lovely, we ended up in a cabin on Tims Ford Lake in Tennessee. For three nights, we went to bed with every window open so we could sleep to the smells and sounds of the lake. For three mornings, we woke up to the calm quiet of springtime in a secluded location. Everywhere we went over the course of our four-day vacation, we had to drive through wide stretches of nature and farmlands. Every aspect of our environment spoke to our souls, filling and nourishing us.

Inevitably, every time we passed a church in the middle of that beautiful, peaceful environment, we joked, “Hey! We can see if they need a pastor so we can just live here!” It had nothing to do with wanting to move or leave our current church and start over. We really have no interest in doing that! But, the environment of the countryside we stayed in or drove through soothed, revived, and refreshed us in wonderful ways. And we just wanted to stay.

In truth, though, staying in a place that revived us momentarily would not have the same effect long term. Every time we are revived, we then come to the time when we must get back to work. We must take the refreshment and apply it to the task at hand. We cannot stay in a constant state of soothing. We were made to actively glorify God in everything we do, not just to soak up moments of nourishment.

This truth reverberates across all areas of our lives. Whether it’s a physical location, an emotional or mental state of being, a place of fellowship, or a period of spiritual illumination, none of these aspects of nourishment are meant to be our solitary state of being. We are meant to live, not simply absorb.

The beauty of life in Christ, though, is that we can have both simultaneously. Our nourishment and refreshment can come even in the midst of the work. Our space of beauty explodes from the Word of God and the handiwork of the Spirit all around us. Our filling comes from communion, true relational communion, with our Savior. Sometimes, yes, we need to physically get away from the noise of everyday life. But there is no need for getaway in our spiritual lives. God equips us to live every single day in the nourishment of His presence.

We lack, not because we need a spiritual getaway, but because we do not choose to live in His daily nourishment.

I would still love to live in a home built in the hills overlooking a lake. But, I don’t want to live a life of escape. I want to live a life daily nourished by my relationship with the Lord. Some days I do experience that life. Other days, I fail to rest in Him. But, that is my goal. That is my heart. And when I choose it, there is no lakeside home that could ever match the comfort of a Christ-enveloped life.

Posted in Thoughts from Life, Thoughts from Scripture

My Purpose?

Posted on by Ann B. Hibbard

I intended to write something new today, but I’m also continuing to work back through old blog posts to see if they can be republished, need to be worked, or should just be tossed. This one caught my attention this morning. I needed this perspective reminder!

I wonder if David ever had writer’s block.

You laugh. But, when I see all that he wrote, I wonder if he ever wanted to write, but couldn’t. I wonder how many of his prayers never saw the light of day.

Last week I tried to write, but I never could accomplish what I wanted to say. So, I let the week slide by without really writing. Then this week.

But now I sit here thinking about David. And I realize something.

David left behind wonderful words, but not because he had to meet writing deadlines or make sure something was up on the tabernacle bulletin board. No, David’s songs were the expression of what welled up inside of him. Was his relationship with the Lord vibrant and whole? Then words of praise flowed. Was he distant and feeling it? Then despair poured from his lips, rising to the only One who could draw him back to vibrancy.

Last week I tried to write simply because I wanted to have something up on my blog. And I did not succeed. I think it was because I forgot this verse:

Whether, then, you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God. 1 Corinthians 10:31

(And just to be contextual here, the audience receiving this instruction was dealing with honoring God in the midst of a pretty messed up society. I think I have it easy.)

Whether David was up or down, his songs pointed to God. They were for His glory. They lifted up His name. They hashed through the human struggle of trusting a God whose ways cannot always be understood. But they always came back to the reminder that His ways are right, whether David understood or not.

David’s songs were for the glory of God.

Did all of David’s actions glorify God? No. Did David always feel like glorifying God? It’s doubtful. But his legacy, his enduring songs, were all written for the glory of God. And David’s life was most right when his actions intentionally honored God.

What are we striving for this week? What is our purpose? Is it to check something off the to-do list? Is it to keep up with a habit we decided to establish in our lives? Is it to meet someone else’s expectations?

How much better will it be if we strive only to glorify God in every little thing?

And I mean everything.

Work, play, hobbies, life necessities…everything.

I am sure David had days in which he wanted to sing a new song, but he was not faithfully singing that new song for God’s glory. And I bet it was harder to sing on those days. Just like it is harder for me to write on those days. Or work. Or play. Or meet my family’s needs. Or do anything.

Let’s get back to 1 Corinthians 10:31 living. No matter what our circumstances, let’s do all to the glory of God. And let’s see how He shines through our efforts.