relationship – Not Quite Ordinary

Should I?

Posted on January 27, 2025 by Ann B. Hibbard

When I lost my job nearly a year ago, one of the things I felt I should get back to was writing. I hadn’t written regularly in a while, for a lot of reasons. But, I wanted to start it back up. I know I’ve shared this before, but I felt like a part of me was missing because I wasn’t processing through writing.

In the past, writing usually came easily to me. There were dry spells, to be sure, but for the most part I could come up with something. More often than not, I had more ideas than I could use. It was the one space in my life where brainstorming ideas frequently worked. (I’m not a brainstormer. Often even hearing the words “brainstorm session” causes my brain to completely shut down!) I’d keep a running list of topics and ideas, then flesh out the ones that worked and discard the ones that didn’t.

Either way, whether I had fresh thoughts or needed to dive into the list of ideas, I could almost always write at least something.

But this past year? I’ll be honest, it’s been hard. I’ve had a couple of isolated bursts of feeling the old inspiration come back, but they’ve been just that…isolated. It has left me wondering if I should even be trying. I mean, if God wanted me to do this, He’d give me the words, right?

How often is that the way we look at obedience? If God wants us to do it, He’ll pave the way and make it smooth! But will He?

I very clearly remember a conversation that happened years ago. I was sharing an update on where we were, and the response to the update was, “Isn’t it amazing to see how God just works everything out so smoothly when we step out in obedience?”

“I wouldn’t know,” I responded.

And it was true. We knew we were walking in obedience, but no, everything was not working smoothly. In fact, the opposite was true. If we were supposed to trust in circumstances to confirm that God had guided us in this way, then the evidence indicated that we’d misheard Him. That we were actually disobeying. Because everything we were trying to do was a fight, and doors were closing much more often than they were opening. Honestly, that transition time was preparation for what life was going to be like for the next few years. A constant uphill walk. A continual string of circumstances that didn’t just act against us but screamed against us.

I can’t tell you how we knew that, yes, we were obeying despite the circumstances. And I won’t tell you that we moved forward without questioning. We questioned almost daily. But, we did know, despite the hurt and the confusion and the struggle, that we were where God put us.

As Christians, we believe that we are encouraging one another when we say that doors will fly open or opportunities will rise up or circumstances will fall into place if we just walk in obedience. And, if those things don’t happen, then we know that God isn’t in it and we can walk away.

But, that’s not how God works, and when we speak to one another that way, we’re not rightly representing the character of God. He doesn’t say, “If you just have faith to open this door or take that turn, I’ll show you the beautifully paved path.” Instead, in John 16 Jesus tells us the opposite. He says we’ll have trouble. We’ll have suffering. Our comfort and sense of direction aren’t in a smoothly paved path but in the reality that He is with us. That He will never leave us alone. That He has conquered this world of trouble and suffering.

I’ll be honest. I don’t know if I should keep trying to write. I don’t know if this is where the Lord wants my energy going. I honestly don’t know what He wants me to be doing as I process into a new stage of life. I’m still praying and seeking and trying to listen, and I haven’t sensed clear answers or direction yet.

But I do know this: I can’t stop just because the circumstances of limited ideas and strained writing sessions seem to be blocking my path. Because it’s not about circumstances. It’s about a relationship with the One who can do whatever He wants with whatever circumstances exist. The One who can engineer any circumstances. The One who desires my obedience but can also handle anything I mess up. If I’m supposed to write, it will be because He has told me to, not because the ideas flow.

Should I? I don’t know. All I know is that I need to seek Him more passionately and let Him tell me. So, today I’ll write. But more than that I’ll seek. Lord Jesus, draw me closer to You through it all!

Thoughts from Scripture

Belief

Posted on October 4, 2024 by Ann B. Hibbard

Abram believed the LORD, and he credited it to him as righteousness. Genesis 15:6 (CSB)

The biblical narrative of Abraham and Sarah is such a familiar one that it can be hard to study, teach, and discuss, especially among others who have familiarity with Scripture. Creation, the fall, the flood, Babel…then Abraham being singled out. We know it all well.

But there’s something about Abraham’s story that I have taken for granted. I haven’t really thought much about how much he knew.

Think about it. The Bible’s focus is God’s communication with us as His people. It’s not a history or science text. It doesn’t explain how the world was created or how exactly the flood covered the earth. We don’t get to know what happened in the cosmos when the sun stood still for Joshua or the shadow moved backward for Hezekiah. The star that appeared at Jesus’s birth remains a mystery to us.*

No, those stories do not tell us the how. But they do make it clear that Almighty God was directly involved with His creation in so many ways. And it’s not just the big, unexplainable events. There are also details that show He has chosen to be intimately accessible to His creation and His people. That accessibility only grew with His sending of the Holy Spirit in Acts, and we as modern Christians have 2000 years of church history giving testimony to the fact that His interaction with mankind didn’t stop with the writing of Revelation. It continues to this day!

We have so much. So very much.

We still struggle sometimes in our belief that this invisible God who exists beyond our ability to know or imagine truly wants to be in relationship with us. But, we have so very much evidence to support that truth.

What did Abram have? When he chose to believe the Lord at this moment in life — this moment when he and Sarai were childless and too old to imagine that would ever change — what evidence did he have about God to convince him that God’s promises could be trusted?

Did he have more than what we find today in the first eleven chapters of Genesis? Had he heard personal stories of God’s presence in the lives of people since the flood? Maybe he did. But, we also know that, while Noah was personally chosen to be the one to ensure that humanity continued after the flood, Abram was the one at the front edge of the grand narrative of God’s intimate and personal plan for salvation. Most of the action in the salvation story starts with him.

Abram had a flood story. He had knowledge of God’s judgment. But, he didn’t have all of the stories of God intervening on behalf of the children of Israel, his descendants. He didn’t know that God Himself would come to earth in the form of a baby. He didn’t see the expansion of the church after Pentecost.

All he had was a call and a handful of visions amid years of silence.

Yet he believed. And that belief, that allegiance to this unseen God, was credited to him as righteousness.

That’s the kind of belief I want. The kind of belief that says yes to the God who has proven His desire to interact with little ol’ me. Honestly, I wonder if that’s what Abram saw. Having lived in a society that believed in distant gods who held themselves aloof from mankind, he encountered something different. Almighty God talked to him. Chose him. Directed him. Instructed him. Spoke to him.

God does the same with me. Even if there was never another miracle, never another answered prayer, God talks to me. Me! Someone who has no reason to stand out. This Father God sent His Son to earth, His own essence incarnate, to ensure an eternal restoration of connection between mankind and Himself. He wants us to know Him. Not just to worship Him, although that is important. Not just to recognize Him as God, although that is critical. But to know Him. Personally. Intimately.

Even me.

What a tremendous reason to believe Him.

*I do love Patrick W. Carr’s interpretation of the star in his novel The End of the Magi. Fascinating idea, even if it is still just the product of one author’s imagination.

The Christian Standard Bible. Copyright © 2017 by Holman Bible Publishers. Used by permission. Christian Standard Bible®, and CSB® are federally registered trademarks of Holman Bible Publishers, all rights reserved.

Walking Away

Posted on February 8, 2017February 6, 2017 by Ann B. Hibbard

Over the years, I’ve seen a lot of people walk away from Facebook or take breaks. I’ve thought about it many times myself but have never actually done it. After all, that’s where my work “office” is and it’s the way I interact with various groups for ministry and productivity purposes. And, in all honesty, there are certain people I only interact with via Facebook because of our distance. Frankly, I don’t think it was the right time for me to pull back before now.

Now, however, it seems to be a different story.

I’ve come to realize three things.

1. When I rely on Facebook interaction for local friends, I am much less likely to interact with them on a face to face level. I’ve already seen their pictures or heard about their week. Why ask? Ouch. Facebook can only go so deep. I need to be face-to-face if at all possible.
2. There is far too much to wade through in a Facebook stream. Too many friends. Too many statuses. Too much time. And the important stuff is too easily missed.
3. When I rely on Facebook to interact, I don’t write. I can look back over the last few years and see this as a proven fact. Posting to Facebook instead of to the family blog reduced my posting there. Facebook posts are short, uninformative, and easily lost. On the blog, however, I have to force myself to explain and give details – and I can easily read and reread the posts as the kids grow! That’s a big deal to me.
I also wrote less on my personal blog because it was so much easier to offer a Facebook blurb than to process my thoughts enough for a blog post. When you can share brief thoughts, why bother to hash them out?

Why? Because I need to.

So, now I believe it’s time to start walking away. I’ve narrowed down my friends greatly and will continue to do so in the coming year. Those who are left will be there for very specific and personal reasons. It’s not that I don’t enjoy keeping up with the people I “unfriended.” I do! I just want to keep up with them more intentionally and personally.

(That word intentional just keeps showing up!)

It’s not easy. I still have Facebook. I still have quite a few nonlocal friends to try to keep up with. But, I have already seen a positive change with local friends as we are more intentional about our face-to-face interactions.

So, if you don’t see me on Facebook anymore, that’s why. I’ll be writing more here and on the family blog. And I’ll be trying to interact with you more personally. I might need help, and it will take balance as I still have to manage a full homeschool, writing, work, and church schedule. But, I look forward to seeing how this choice to walk away strengthens the ability to be more intentional in writing and in relationships.

Meanwhile, here’s my question for you. As you work to walk more closely with the Lord and with your community of believers, is there something you need to or have walked away from? If you feel comfortable, I’d love for you to share either here or in person! After all, I had to wrestle with this decision because other people have mentioned their own wrestling. That’s community, my friends. You are part of my community, and I’d love to see us encourage one another in this journey!