Posted in Thoughts from Life, Thoughts from Prayer

Never to Return

I occasionally jot down writing ideas, or post starters, to come back to later. Sometimes I come back to them and have no clue what my notes mean, so they end up being ignored or discarded. Other times, the memory of what I was thinking comes flooding back with even greater clarity than when I first had the thoughts. The writing flows in a way it never would have had I written about it back then.

Still other times, though, the post starters feel almost prophetic. It’s in those times that I truly see how the Holy Spirit works in our hearts and minds to not only grow us but to prepare us for challenges that lie ahead.

I recently revisited one such post starter for about the third time. It’s over seven years old, but the implications are profoundly appropriate for right now. Here’s part of what I wrote:

Sometimes, normal will never return. It’s a new normal.

Restoration never involves going back. It involves going forward and realizing that the only constant is Christ Himself. Not normalcy.

I’d jotted down these thoughts as we watched two different dear friends process through losing their spouses. The circumstances and ages of the friends were very different, but the reality was the same: their lives could never go back to what they had previously considered to be normal. It wasn’t possible.

The realization led me to recognize my own struggle with some changes our family had made a couple of years before. We’d made such changes many times before, but this particular time, it was harder to figure out how to make the adjustment. There were just too many differences. We had tried for so long to settle back into normalcy. But, it always failed. Only when we realized that we needed to start from scratch were we able to make some sense of the changes. And in the experience of processing through all of this, we learned what it meant to be able to rediscover routine and normalcy again, even when everything had changed.

Who knew that a global pandemic would require us to fall back on that skill again years later? That was actually the second time I revisited this thought and fleshed it out a bit more. But I still wasn’t ready to put it out there. Everything felt very raw, and I struggled with how I was processing any of it.

And now, as I revisit this thought yet again, my family is in another stage of transition. Long, drawn-out transition that prevents settling into a “new normal.” (I grew to greatly dislike that phrase during Covid, and it’s not much happier now.) Through it all, I’m realizing that we haven’t really hit a “normal” for our family in a long, long time. That forces me back to the last part of my original thought, the one about our only constant being Christ Himself, not normalcy.

That’s hitting me hard.

What if I were to redirect my thoughts and focus on something other than normalcy? What if I were to focus instead on restoration? On truly letting Christ be my constant instead of always seeking after normal?

We often think of restoration as returning something to its former glory, but that’s never the case. We can’t accomplish that because there will always be a newness. Even if the restored treasure looks the same, the materials are always new. They are always bound to the time in which they were restored, no matter what style they may represent. It’s never a return. It’s always a newness.

That’s where we are right now. We’ll never return to “normal.” But, we can move into beautiful restoration. We can move into a newness of life. Of course, that’s only possible when we embrace the Author of life Himself. After all, He is the only constant. The only thing that ever remains the same, no matter the changes. The only One who can never be restored because He can never be damaged. Never changed. Never warped. He is. Continuously and always. He restores us, constantly remaking us into the image He intended from the very beginning. Were we to cling to our sense of normal, we would miss the restoration. We would never succeed in becoming what we were intended to be because our normal is warped. Incomplete. Corrupted. He is bringing us into the incorruptible, but that means that we must go through the refining.

Thinking of this, I realize I don’t want my old normal back. I don’t want to settle for a new normal, either. Instead, I want restoration. It’s a process that will continue until I see my God and Savior face to face, and that’s okay. That means that this “new normal” is temporary as the restoration continues.

May I walk faithfully through it, trusting His work all the way and never hungering to return.

Because what lies ahead is so much better.

Posted in Faith Nuggets, Thoughts from Prayer

Who Are You?

We love superheroes. Even if we aren’t Marvel or DC fans, we still find ourselves drawn to the stories of heroes of fantasy, history, and everyday life.

There’s an interesting thing about heroes, though. Many of them don’t really want to be known. The motivations vary. Some are truly humble, and they want to be able to do for others without the restriction of having their every motive and action questioned.

Others simply cling to being mysterious, either through alter-egos or staying in the shadows. This is a common theme throughout mythology and story-telling. You never really know the true identity of the hero, and the hero doesn’t really want to be known. Mystery is part of their success.

We kind of idolize that, don’t we? And sometimes we think we want to imitate it. But then it gets lonely and we discover that, truthfully, we want to be known. We want to be seen. Maybe not in a cocky or self-important way, but in a relational way. We’re tired of isolation and desire relationship. We want people to see us. To know us.

All of this went crashing through my mind recently as I was pondering my Scripture and devotional readings for the morning. I don’t know that any of it specifically related to the reading; it was more connected to a heart desire. A desire to truly get to know more of God through His Word, His actions, and His presence in each day.

I strayed to the thought of mythological gods and demigods, our foundation for superhero stories of today, and realized that few if any of them ever wanted to be known by mere mortals (unless there was romance involved — those stories get a bit crazy!). They wanted to stay lofty and mysterious.

The same has been true of religions throughout history. The relevant gods all remain mysterious and distant, unknowable by mere mortals.

But our God is different. He, by nature, is too great for us. He isn’t truly knowable. Yet, what has He done throughout history? He has created ways for us to know Him, even going to the extreme of sending His Son to give us an avenue for knowing Him. Think of how many times Jesus indicated to His disciples that if they knew Him, they’d know the Father! What an amazing concept!

Here’s where the thought gets really mind-boggling.

We want to be known, right? We want to be seen.

What if that desire to be known is actually one of the signs that we are made in the image of God? What if that very craving, that very desire, is a reflection of God in us?

On the surface, that can seem a bit heretical, I know. It makes God seem self-centered and egotistical, especially considering that our desire to be known usually has selfish motives.

And yet…

God walked in the garden with the first humans so that they could get to know their Creator. He revealed Himself throughout the Old Testament through awesome works, the law, and the prophets.

Then He sent Jesus.

The Almighty God, Creator of the universe longs to be seen and known by us! This infinite, unknowable God reveals Himself in ways that make sense to our finite, limited minds.

What if we were to seek to know God in the way that we truly want to be known? Seek the truth of His heart? The depth of His desires? The vastness of His love?

He wants to be made known. He wants us to know Him. And He wants us to help Him be made known to the entire world. What an overwhelmingly profound reality!

Lord, who are You? Who are You really? How can it be that You want little, insignificant me to know You? How is it that You, the Almighty God of all existence, can be willing to take the time to not only know me but to reveal Yourself to me? Personally. Intimately.

Help me desire to know You even just as much as I want to be known. And may that ultimately change. May my desire morph into being fully about knowing You, trusting that I am always known by You.

Reveal to me who You are!

Posted in Thoughts from Life, Thoughts from Prayer, What Works for Me

Intentional

Word of the Year?

Have you ever noticed the people who choose “word” for their year? That word becomes their focus – the thing around which their goals and growth center. Perhaps this is something you do.

Maybe you are among those who actively choose their words. These people spend time in thought and prayer, trying to determine a direction and a focus. I’ve never done that before. I know me – it would be too forced. I second guess myself too much, and this approach would stress me out. Better for me to work on my routine and focus on productivity than to try to choose a focus.

For the longest time, I thought that was the only approach to choosing a word or focus for the year. But, more recently I’ve noticed a different pattern among some of my friends, so I avoided it. These are the people whose words have chosen them. A lesson or idea or thought just keeps presenting itself until they finally latch onto it, determined to see where the Holy Spirit is leading.

And now I know how that feels.

Intentionality Everywhere

Everywhere I’ve turned lately, intentional has been on the tip of my tongue. I cannot describe my sense of direction, urgency of action, or areas of growth without using that word or some variation of it.

  • When I think of my routine and productivity (or lack thereof!), I realize that I’m so often just floating through life. I bounce from this to that, randomly walking through my to-do list, focusing on whatever seems to pop up next. I have been convicted of the need to be intentional with every moment of my day – whether in work, play, or rest.
  • When I think of my reading goals, I see that I have stacks of books with no plan for reading them. I’ll get around to it, eventually. I know I won’t. Not without being intentional.
  • When I see the resources I have acquired for this project or that, only to never get them done due to lack of whatever, I feel the frustration and discouragement rise. If I want to ever make progress, I have to make time. Intentionally.
  • When my brain fills with the larger ideas I have for writing, I jot down notes only to forget what I was thinking. I desire to do more – to actually write a book. But, all I ever get around to are random blog posts about whatever happens to pop into my head at the time. I will never truly become what I want to become as a writer unless I intentionally make and work toward goals.

But the biggest area is my spiritual life. I know I’m growing. I see it. But, there are many ways in which my spiritual growth is just as haphazard as my growth in other areas. I’m random, and I don’t always follow through, turning thoughts and convictions into actions. I have to become intentional about spiritual growth by making a plan for action as soon as the Holy Spirit nudges my thoughts.

Staying Open

I know how my brain works, and I know that it’s not a good idea for me to say that 2017 will be my intentional year because I’ll become more fixated on the word than the general sensitivity to what the Holy Spirit needs to do in and through me. Maybe I’ll be a slow learner, and it will be with me for several years (like rest and sabbath have been focus thoughts for two or three years!). Maybe I’ll establish a habit and pattern of intentionality in a few months, and it will be time to push forward again. I do not want to miss the Lord’s direction just because I am stuck on a word. But, for now, intentionality is my overarching focus as this year begins. Already I have seen it impact my time and energy. I’m ready to see where the Lord takes me from here!