Tag: growth

Posted in Faith Nuggets, Thoughts from Life, Thoughts from Others

My Certainty

Posted on by Ann B. Hibbard

Oh my word, how I needed this reminder this morning! Once again, I am thankful for the record of what God has taught me in the past so I can continue to move forward in growth. And finding certainty in Him is definitely an area where He keeps pushing me to dive deeper and grow more.

Uncertainty. Don’t you just love it. Never knowing what’s around the next bend? Not being able to plan and anticipate?

Okay, if that excited you and made you say, “Yes! I do love it!” then I will go ahead and admit something right now – I don’t understand you. I may still love you, and I will probably try to draw on your strength and excitement when I’m overwhelmed by uncertainty. But I just cannot understand you.

No, I do not always have to have all of the answers, nor do I insist on a crystal clear path at all times. Admittedly, surprises are fun, and the unexpected keeps life interesting and exciting. But that’s not the same as uncertainty.

Uncertainty is knowing that there is something around the corner – and possibly even knowing what it is – but not really being able to predict how it will impact life. If I know that something uncertain is ahead of me, I want to at least have the chance to do something productive to prepare for the uncertainty.

It’s like knowing that tornado season is coming around. I’m an Arkansan, which means tornado season is a given. I do not know when storms will come, but I know they will. And although I cannot guarantee my family’s safety during a tornado, I can do practical, productive things to prepare. I can make sure that we all know where to go to take cover quickly and smoothly. I can make sure necessities are easy to grab. I can prepare.

The problem comes when I see uncertainty on the horizon and cannot do a thing about it. I can’t prepare. I can’t plan. I can only wait. Wait in the uncertainty.

That’s exactly where the Lord puts me from time to time. Why? Because I’m finding my certainty in activity. In preparation. In doing something. What does He want instead?

He wants to be my certainty.

Oswald Chambers says it quite well in My Utmost from His Highest.

Certainty is the mark of a common-sense life; gracious uncertainty is the mark of the spiritual life. To be certain of God means that we are uncertain in all our ways…

Ouch. I tried to argue with that rationale this week. I hoped that I could look at 1 John 3:2, the focal verse for the devotional, and determine that Chambers was out of context with his deductions. But no, he wasn’t. And I was stuck.

I had been living a common-sense life. The Lord was – and is – calling me to a life filled with Him. A life in which my only certainty is Himself. Not circumstances. Not preparation. Not clear answers or firm direction.

Just Himself.

Where is your certainty today? If it is anywhere but in Christ Himself, He will push you into circumstances that challenge your common-sense life. And it hurts. But it’s worth it.

Will you join me in “gracious uncertainty”? Together, let’s make our Lord and Savior our only certainty.

Posted in Thoughts from Life

The Thoughts that Don’t Make It

Posted on by Ann B. Hibbard

I’m sitting here this morning perusing my notes, in-progress thoughts, and rough drafts, wondering if I should start from scratch with today’s post or prepare something I’ve already started.

Some of the thoughts have been here a while. Months. Others are recent, but I need them to gel a bit to make sure that I’m saying things clearly. Sometimes I can sit down and go from idea to publication in an hour or so with no problem. But most of the things I’m skimming through this morning are thoughts that, for whatever reason, don’t fit into that mold. They were jotted down as incomplete ideas that needed to be pondered or fleshed out, but just haven’t made it to completion yet.

Some were thoughts hammered out in emotional times. Whether it was negative or positive emotions, my emotional writing frequently doesn’t make sense until I can pull back and separate the thoughts from the emotions. Sometimes, though, that makes it impossible to ever complete the thoughts, because emotional memories are strong.

Some will eventually find their way to publication. Others never will. I’ll never get them to work. And that’s okay. Because it’s not really the completion that matters in every situation. Sometimes thoughts are there to give birth to learning in other areas. They lead to other ideas and different growth — to things that I can share later. But it’s important to jot the thoughts down, because otherwise I’ll forget them. After all, if it’s not written down, it usually doesn’t happen! At least, that’s the way it is for my extremely visual brain.

The point is, I struggle sometimes to know which thoughts should be pushed through and which ones should never be publicly read. It’s important for us to learn to be vulnerable. To be real. But, there is wisdom in vulnerability. There must still be boundaries and guidelines for when and how to share parts of ourselves. And there are some things that will never be published on a public blog, even if the blog is rarely seen by more than a handful of people.

The key is to recognize which thoughts fit into which category. But there’s also the need to recognize my own mental acuity each time I try to make such a decision. Am I in touch with wisdom enough to know whether or not something needs to be published? Am I deciding from a place of insecurity or discernment? Some days I have more clarity than others. Am I willing to admit when I’m experiencing a day that lacks clarity?

Today is a day when I don’t really have much to say. But, it’s been a bit of a weird week, and my routine is thrown off. So, as I stumble through trying to make the most of each day, I recognize that it’s not a great day to process unpublished rough drafts or incomplete thoughts to see if they are worth publishing. It may not be a day conducive to fresh writing, but it’s also not really a great day for going back through old posts to see if they are worth republishing. It is instead a day to just be honest about where I am and move on.

I’m encouraged, though, because even on a day like today I’m trying. I’m not sharing a lovely life lesson or a glimpse from Scripture. But I’m still writing. I’m still doing. And I am continuing to build on habits and rhythms that will make it easier next time to either review well, write well, or just do like today and keep up the practice.

Not every thought makes it. But every thought has a purpose, even if it’s just to grow me toward the next thought. I’ll take it.

Posted in Thoughts from Life

Today’s Pieces

Posted on by Ann B. Hibbard

I love puzzles. Fortunately, I have a child who also loves puzzles, and usually during school breaks we keep one going that we can add a few pieces to as we have time.

Our preference is large puzzles with some measure of complexity. Although we have a few 500-pieces options that are beloved because of the completed images, our preference is 1000 pieces. We do occasionally tackle even larger ones, like the 4000-piece world map that we assembled and then framed for display. It took us a while to get that one done, but we absolutely love the finished product!

This year, though, we discovered something new: Christmas countdown puzzles. The puzzle pieces are presorted into 25 numbered boxes, each box containing around 40 puzzle pieces. Each day, we pulled out the appropriately numbered box and assembled only the pieces for that day.

Honestly, as fun as the countdown puzzles were, they were not incredibly challenging. We could complete the day’s section in a matter of minutes and quite easily since we knew that all of the pieces fit into a compact section. (Although, to be honest, we both got behind on our puzzles, so we rarely had a one-box-only day.) In that regard, this approach is not one we’d want to do very often. We like the challenge of a large puzzle with lots of shapes and colors.

On the other hand, though, the countdown puzzles have offered an illustrative reminder about life — a reminder I really need right now as we pass through the Christmas season and approach a new year.

You see, my brain often attacks life as if I have to try to figure out a huge puzzle. I see a huge pile of random pieces, including edge pieces that create a frame or border, and feel that I have to dive in and solve it. This urge is especially strong in times such as the transition into a new season, whether it’s a new calendar year, a new school year, or a new phase of life.

But, life — especially life as a Christian — is much more like that countdown puzzle. There is a Designer who already has the whole picture in hand. He knows exactly where each puzzle piece goes. He knows how the frame works, and He knows that I don’t even need the whole frame to figure out the puzzle. I just need to focus on what He’s given me for today.

Today, I have my set of pieces. Today I have my small focused space. Today I have my allotment of wisdom and understanding. Today I have all I need to accomplish the portion of the puzzle that needs to be completed — the portion that attaches directly to all I have already done throughout my life.

I just need to focus on the “box” handed to me today.

I’d rather have it all figured out. I’d rather have the big picture and be able to rush to completion. Not necessarily of all of life, but at least of this upcoming year or season.

I know better. I know life should be lived out each day and the path my loving Father has set me on should be cherished and lived abundantly. Yet I still try to tackle the whole and jump ahead to the box I’ll need for tomorrow or next week or even five years from now.

God slows me down and hands me what I need for today. He reminds me that He holds the fullness of my life and that He already has in place what I’ll need for tomorrow or next week or five years from now. He’s holding it safely. And between now and then, He’s giving me what I need so that when I get to those future pieces, I’ll have a place to put them. I’ll know where they fit.

I’m tempted to dump out the whole puzzle and try to figure it out on my own. He’s gently reminding me that He sorted the pieces for a reason, and that I can trust Him with them all.

Now that Christmas is past, we’ll probably pull out another big puzzle and enjoy the challenge of it before my daughter heads back to school. But as I put away the countdown puzzles, I’m thankful for the reminder God gave me each time I opened one of these small boxes. I’m thankful that when I do go back to the big puzzles, even they will help me remember.

And I’ll be thankful for everything that God has given me to be a part of His will and plan for today.

Posted in Faith Nuggets, Thoughts, Thoughts from Life

Total Rest

Posted on by Ann B. Hibbard

It’s not quite the new year yet, but this wrap-up of the rest series felt like a good reminder even now, while we remain in the busy season. 

A new year has arrived, bringing with it a slower pace of life. But to get here, I had to survive a typical fall in the Hibbard household. Every year the stretch between the end of October through the end of December is a very busy time for us. This year was no exception.

But right in the middle of the busyness, God reinforced His lesson on rest. Oh, He had already given me the idea. I had even journaled it months before. But, it wasn’t until I had come to the end of a very rough week that He reminded me of one more truth He had taught me about rest.

Rest is not just relational, expected, and sacrificial. Rest is also total trust.

In all honesty, I had been trying to rest in the midst of the chaos. But, I did it my way. I allotted time to attend Christmas parties and enjoy the fellowship. I sacrificially set aside my to-do list on multiple occasions, supposedly in the name of rest. But I forgot that all of these things must be bound together by a conscious focus on total obedience.

You see, rest is not just about coming up with ways to interact with others, to meet an expectation, or to sacrifice when an opportunity seems to arise. Rest is about walking in complete trust and obedience, allowing God to handle every single detail, every single time.

When I tried to do life, whether work or rest, my way, I fell apart. I failed. My to-do list backed up and my relationships became strained. I neglected to fulfill obligations, and no amount of time set aside for rest seemed to rejuvenate me.

I did not find real rest again until I stepped back to see how I had failed to trust and obey the Lord. Rest returned only when I actively and consciously began to walk once again in total surrender.

Now we face a new year. If it moves even half as quickly as last year did, many of us will once again come to the end of it feeling harried and tired. But God offers the rest we need to make this a year of complete abandon to Him. Complete obedience. Complete trust. And complete rest.

I am not one for New Year’s resolutions, but I do hunger to make a new commitment this year. I hunger to live this year centered in the total rest of Christ.

Will you join me?

Here is the final post in my four-part Rest series, originally published in Arkansas Baptist News.

Posted in Faith Nuggets, Thoughts, Thoughts from Others, Thoughts from Scripture

Sacrificial Rest

Posted on by Ann B. Hibbard

 Such a timely reminder, as we are, once again, deep into the holiday season and all of the interactions it can bring!

The holiday season is upon us! As an introverted homebody, sometimes the busyness of this season throws me for a loop. I do love it. I love the decorations and the celebrations. I enjoy the parties and the events, even if I sometimes have to pry myself out of the warm house to attend them.

But I also need rest. And I am not quite sure I like the next lesson God has been teaching me about rest. You see, in addition to learning that rest is relational and expected, I am also learning that rest is sacrificial.

I have always been pretty selfish about rest. My opinion has always been that I need it, and I need it my way or it doesn’t count. But when my husband and I had a conversation about a couple of passages of Scripture, I found my selfishness challenged.

In Acts 16:13, we see Paul heading down to the riverside in hopes of meeting people gathered there to pray. I have never though much about that action until Doug made a thought-provoking observation. He pointed out that Paul’s trip outside the city on the Sabbath was a sacrificial act. It was outside his norm. It was outside the parameters of rest he had been taught during his formative years.

Paul made a sacrifice.

So, where was he when he made this sacrifice? He was in Philippi. He was making the contacts that would eventually result in the Philippian church. The same Philippian church that brought him incredible joy, according to verses like Philippians 1:3. In fact, it could be argued from Scripture that this particular church provided Paul’s greatest source of strength and encouragement.

But it all started with a sacrifice.

One of my favorite verses is Hebrews 3:13.

But encourage each other daily, while it is still called today, so that none of you is hardened by sin’s deception. (CSB)

I have always loved the idea of encouragement among believers. But, as I look at Paul’s sacrificial investment in the Philippian church – and the return it brought – I see Hebrews 3:13 in a new light. I see that we receive our greatest encouragement, strength, and support when we are willing to sacrifice for one another, even in rest.

Now, sacrificial rest does require care because it still must be rest. It cannot become just another source of busyness. But, what would happen if we were willing to put aside our selfish conceptions of rest and determine instead to rest in fellowship with our fellow believers?

As the busy schedule presses in, I pray God will show me exactly how to rest sacrificially – and that He will allow even my rest to bear the fruit of joy and encouragement for others.

This is part three of the Rest series, originally published in Arkansas Baptist News.

Posted in Thoughts from Others, Thoughts from Prayer

Advent Week 1: Cultivating Joy

Posted on by Ann B. Hibbard

At our church this year, we greeted the first Sunday in Advent with the theme of joy.

Joy isn’t typically where the Advent discussions, sermons, or candle lighting begin. It’s typically a theme that comes later in the season. But, as my husband prayed about it, that’s where he felt led to start. Not only was it a fitting starting point, it also gave us the perfect opportunity to make “Joy to the World” our first congregational worship song of the season. What could be better?

The whole sermon was good, but one point really hit home for me: joy must be cultivated, and that cultivation takes time. I’ve been pondering this thought ever since hearing it and scrawling it in my sermon notes.

The concept of cultivated joy shouldn’t come as a surprise to any of us. While happiness and joy do manifest in similar ways, happiness can come in an instant — and disappear just as quickly. Joy, while its seeds are often most easily planted during times of happiness, takes more effort. More intentionality. More deliberate and focused attention.

In fact, I think, for this very reason, joy might be a bit harder to truly cultivate in times of exuberant happiness. It’s hard during times of grief, as well. I’d much rather go into a season of grief with my joy deeply rooted than to try to grow it during that time. But in seasons of great happiness, I often neglect to invest in joy. It’s so easy to just be happy.

Of course, in the in-between times, we often just work through the motions and don’t pay much attention to the cultivation needs then, either. Life is fine. We have happy moments and sad moments. We try to grow spiritually and move through the things God sets before us. But, just as in moments of happiness and seasons of grief, we don’t work to cultivate joy.

At least, I frequently don’t.

Here’s the thing I’ve learned about myself. When I’m not actively cultivating joy, I still cultivate other things. Things that don’t take as much effort. That feel like less work. That aren’t as exhausting.

But the payoff is atrocious. Because those things that are easier to cultivate are devastating for my soul when they are not paired with joy.

Don’t get me wrong, they are not bad in and of themselves. There are negative things that are easy to cultivate as well, but those are obvious. We should know not to cultivate selfishness and bitterness and anger and hate.

But there are other things that seem good and healthy. It’s not bad to cultivate a sense of self and the care that goes along with it. It’s not bad to cultivate the empathy that is such an inherent part of my personality. (I know that can be harder for those who do not have an empathetic personality, so this is definitely very personal to me.) Cultivating skills and habits and hobbies are all very good.

But, when I cultivate those things without incorporating joy — or any of the fruit of the Spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control, per Galatians 5:22-23) — they can all foster the selfishness that I do not ever want to intentionally cultivate.

Yes, devastating is definitely an appropriate word.

I’m far too guilty of that, though. And that truth is what hit me yesterday during the sermon. Over the past few years, I have attempted to heal from hurts, grow in Christ, and notice the needs of others. I’ve sought to regain a sense of peace and calm even in seasons of loneliness and aches.

But somewhere along the way, I think I stopped actively cultivating joy. I tried to ride on what already existed without nourishing it so it would continue. Eventually, it began to dry up. The sad thing is that I didn’t really notice. I was so caught up in those moments where there was a lack of happiness that I didn’t pay attention to the fact that my joy — the joy of belonging to my precious Lord and Savior and being held in His miraculous arms and guided by His perfect wisdom and protected by His amazing and vast greatness — was fading from lack of attention.

As a result, my attempts to find healing and growth and empathy have fallen flat and left me disillusioned, the bearer of a perpetual ache over the pain in this world.

Joy changes that. It doesn’t remove the hurt. But it reminds us who ultimate holds the hurt. It works the Lord’s healing in a way that nothing else can. It allows us to see lessons of growth in places we never would have thought to look.

I must get back to cultivating joy.

Where do I start? Well, my wise husband mentioned three things in his sermon (which you can watch here, if you so desire): embrace and share forgiveness, be a conduit for the love of Christ, and invest the time cultivation requires rather than expecting it to just happen.

Obviously, that’s not an exhaustive list because the cultivation of joy is an ongoing, lifelong process. But it’s a powerful starting point. I’m ready to get back to cultivating.

Posted in Faith Nuggets, Thoughts from Scripture

Weary to Renewed: Driven to the Word

Posted on by Ann B. Hibbard

Oh how much I needed to reread this today! It speaks to exactly where I am…weary. But when it comes to keeping my heart prepared for the Holy Spirit to continually speak through the Word, whether my Bible is physically before me or not, I’ve been falling flat. I’ve been going through motions of reading. If you’re in a similar spot, I pray these thoughts from years ago will encourage you like they are encouraging me today. 

I’ve been weary lately. And in my weariness, I’ve been crying out to the Lord for strength. One morning this week, a thought passed through my mind before I was even fully awake.

The Lord will renew your strength.

As I awakened fully, I realized that the thought was just a inaccurate version of Isaiah 40:31. I’ve transitioned most of my Scripture memory to NASB, but even if I memorize this particular verse in other translations, I believe my mind will always go first to the beautiful KJV:

But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength…

Do you see the difference between my early morning thought and the actually verse? “They that wait…shall renew” versus “The Lord will renew…”

Because of the differences, I was driven back to Isaiah for context. I knew the idea of the context, but what were the exact words? Why would I think, even in my dreaming state, the words “The Lord will renew your strength” instead of just drawing comfort from a familiar and well-loved memory verse?

As I read backwards a bit, I saw this:

Why do you say, O Jacob, and assert, O Israel, “My way is hidden from the Lord, and the justice due me escapes the notice of my God”? Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth does not become weary or tired. His understanding is inscrutable. He gives strength to the weary, and to him who lacks might He increases power. Isaiah 40:27-29

Oh, how much I could say about the whole process that took me from full-fledged weariness through an early morning sub-conscious thought to renewal. But, the truth is that such a process is intimate and personal. It comes from relationship, and there is nothing I can share that will draw you into that renewal. That’s between you and the Lord.

But, two other powerful realities struck me through all of this.

God takes what we have and builds on it.

I cannot remember when I memorized Isaiah 40:30-31. But I know that I’ve returned to it so many times that it is an ingrained part of me. This week, God took it, His Word, the seedling of His very Spirit within me, and used it to renew my strength.

Oh, my dear friend, if you are not hiding God’s Word in your heart, making it a part of you, then you are missing the most powerful avenue by which our Father connects with us. I’m not talking memorization, although that is the most direct avenue by which God’s Word is hidden in our hearts. I’m talking immersion. Digging deep. Not just reading to read, but learning, growing, and interacting with the Word of God, making it an integral part of your being.

Always go back to the Word.

The thought that came to my mind was not just intended to help me remember a beloved verse. It was intended to drive me back to the Bible. To study. To evaluate context. To explore more deeply. Not to simply rely on what I remembered, but to discover more.

We have the amazing privilege of having Scripture readily available to us. Not only do we have it in print, but most of us can pull up our phones and computers and snag any translation at the press of a button. There are hundreds of thousands of people lacking that privilege. But, we have it.

And our heavenly Father wants us to use it.

No matter how many great snippets of Scripture you’ve memorized, how many wonderful sermons or devotionals you’ve heard, how many solid interpretations you’ve heeded, always go back to the Word itself. It is alive. It is breathing. It is active. It is fresh. And when we return to it with open hearts and minds, the Holy Spirit will reveal living truths that speak to our immediate standing with Christ, even from the most familiar of passages.

Perhaps today your struggle is not weariness. Perhaps it’s something else entirely. Whatever it is, I guarantee your heavenly Father is ready to speak life and strength and power and truth into your need. Will you immerse yourself in His Word and allow His Spirit to bring renewal to your heart?

Posted in Thoughts from Life, Thoughts from Scripture

The Place of Impact

Posted on by Ann B. Hibbard

If you’ve ever sought out advice about how to read the Bible, you’ve probably received a wide variety of recommendations. Some will suggest that you should read the Bible straight through from cover to cover every single year. Or, if not cover to cover, then in chronological order. But, definitely the whole thing. Every year.

Others suggest that if you read that quickly, you’ll miss details. So, you should focus in on individual books of the Bible and take as long as you need to explore them from year to year. It might be three, five, or more years before you get through the whole Bible, but the close focus is more important than getting all the way through.

As with much advice passed around in life, advice about how to approach Bible reading is frequently presented as one or the other with no in-between. There’s a right way and a wrong way. Which one are you going to pick?

If I’ve learned anything about advice over the years, it’s that the real solution is rarely black and white. It almost never falls to one extreme or the other. The best spot is somewhere in the middle. With Scripture reading, it’s a both-and approach. Get the big picture and get the details. We need both.

Recently, though, I realized that even that is not complete advice simply because it’s not a one-time thing. It’s not a situation of reading the Bible through one year to get the big picture, then slowing down from then on to get the details. It’s important to go back and forth. Get the big picture, get the details, then apply the details back onto the big picture again. And repeat. Again and again and again.

This reality was highlighted for me when preparing to teach a lesson from Philippians 3. All of it. Crammed into one short lesson.

Now, I love Philippians. It’s such a practical epistle, giving solid instruction. It’s also so…cheerful. It makes me smile and reminds me that healthy community is possible. But, let me tell you, there is a lot packed into that short epistle. And as I studied, I was overwhelmed by it all. I know Philippians well, having studied it deeply on multiple occasions. I have explored the big picture. I’ve focused on the details. I’ve studied and explored and learned so very much.

In this particular instance, though, that knowledge was working against me. I spent the entire week trying to figure out how to summarize the details of a whole chapter and do it in a way that was coherent and meaningful for a youth Sunday school lesson. I never could quite get it. It wasn’t until Sunday morning, day of the lesson, that I finally had my “aha” moment. I finally remembered to step back again. To take in the context of the whole epistle. To see where chapter 3 fit into the overall flow.

(To be completely transparent, I’m pretty sure the Spirit had been whispering that to me all week, but I’m pretty hard-headed sometimes and don’t listen well.)

As soon as I stepped back, the patterns showed up. I began to see how the various parts of chapter three all intertwined. No, we didn’t have time for the details. But we had time for a meaningful lesson.

I don’t say all of this to give my own brand of advice. I share this to remind us to wash all advice, especially advice on walking with Christ, through the lens of experience. Activity. Actually doing the walking while following the leadership of the Holy Spirit. A novel concept, I know.

We often don’t know what we’re missing in our studies of Scripture until we are pressed to share what we’ve learned with other people. Likewise, we don’t really see what’s missing in a lot of our pat spiritual answers until we’ve had to drag our methods, beliefs, and preconceived ideas through the realities of life. And sometimes those realities are a little messy — muddy, even.

My one-week experience of studying Philippians 3 for a Sunday school lesson was a small drop in the bucket of my overall life. But, that experience very much exemplifies how I need to pattern my life as a follower of Christ. The big picture view of Christian experience, idealistic though it may be, is very critical to our growth. The nitty gritty details — represented by our focus on how the Word and our faith speaks into today’s challenges, needs, and struggles — are also critical. Both grow us. They hone our listening skills and help us see Christ at work all around us, at every turn. In all honesty, though, they tend to limit us to a combination of idealism and very specific, personal application.

If we’re going to impact the world around us and give our neighbors a vision of Christ’s love for them, we have to move beyond both idealism and personal application. Fortunately, when we allow the Holy Spirit to be active and alive within us, He has the ability to merge the two and communicate the powerful love of God to those around us in a way that speaks to their own idealism and personal needs. He can handle using our growth to speak into the messy realities of the lives around us.

That’s where I want to live. In the place where both my big picture idealism and detailed experiences can truly be used by the Spirit to impact the life of another.

Posted in Thoughts from Life

Rain

Posted on by Ann B. Hibbard

As I look out the window this morning, I see bright sunshine. I do enjoy sunshine. I need it after a long stretch of clouds and gloom. But, right now we have a bit too much of it. We’ve gone long stretches with all sunshine and no rain, and there is no rain in the forecast. In fact, they are saying we may go the whole month without a drop.

If I’m honest with myself, I have to admit that I’m grieving the lack of rain.

You see, I love rain. Not necessarily the dark and gloom, especially if it’s just cloudy with no rain falling. On those days, I’d rather have sunshine. But as long as it’s dripping and wet, the gloom doesn’t bother me. I’ll turn on those extra lights while I wait for the sun, but the truth is that it will take me long time to get tired of the rain. And I’m almost always sad to see it go, even when we’ve had too much and I know we don’t need more.

My love for rain probably comes from spending many of my growing up years in a desert climate. As the last of the winter rains dwindled away and the spring sun came out, the hills around us would erupt in a beautiful array of colors as poppies, irises (especially the dark purple, almost black Gilead iris that only grows in those hills), and other wildflowers overtook the landscape. But, they never lasted long. Within a couple of weeks, the flowers were dead and any grass that had sprouted up was already starting to turn brown.

As much as I loved wildflower season, I also knew what it meant. We’d have at least eight, and possibly as many as ten, months of complete dryness. Not a single drop of rain. Not even a hint of a cloud. The sky would go from brilliant blue to dusty brown. As summer progressed and the land completely dried out, massive dust storms would roll over us as thick as winter fog.

When the rains finally returned sometime between October and December, the first shower would often look more like mud than rain as it washed the dust out of the air. We didn’t care, though. We’d be out in it, dancing and laughing as we welcomed each drop. Those first rains meant cleansing. They meant that we could breathe. They meant a few months of relief from the heat. They meant blue skies and green hills, at least for a couple of weeks before cold set in and chased the grass away again.

And to this day, I welcome rain with relish.

That’s not what everyone feels when they look out the window and see rain. Some people see the gloom and desperately need the sun, even knowing that the rain is necessary. Some people are hounded with memories, not of dancing in the welcome rain, but of the destruction that so often comes with the rain. Havoc wreaked by storm lines or hurricanes, as we’ve seen horrific evidence of lately. Crops destroyed by too much rain or by hard rain at hard times. Dangerous flash floods from a sudden rainburst.

Or, perhaps the memories are less general and more personal. Ruined plans. Getting in trouble because of not having an outlet to release energy when trapped indoors by the weather.

The thing that brings me such joy can also bring incredible pain. I’ve been there. I’ve seen it. I’ve lived with the consequences. And I so very much understand that those experiences cause some people to dread even the thought of rain, no matter how much it’s needed.

Joy and grief are like that. They intermingle but they also fight for top billing in our hearts. Sometimes the joy wins, while other times the grief is overwhelming. And in the process, we feel our own feelings and wonder how someone else can possibly feel differently. How can someone else hate rain so much when it’s so life-giving? How can someone else long for rain when the sun shining from a cloudless sky is so nourishing?

More confusing of all is when all of those feelings clash in our own hearts. When we desperately need the cleansing rain but just as desperately need the light of the sun. When our circumstances are washing out the dirt and yuck in our hearts but what we achingly hunger for is to just be clean and light and happy again.

We live in a fallen world that needs both clouds and sun, rain and dry. Neither is perfect, but both are good. Scripture tells us that nature itself groans as it waits for the perfection to be restored. For it all to be good without any mix of bad. But we’re not there yet. So, we have to learn what it means to live with it all.

We have to learn to embrace what we love while ministering to those who ache in those same moments. We have to learn to both laugh and cry with one another without sacrificing our own joy and tears.

There’s no easy answer to it. Today as I stare out at the sunshine, I admit that my soul is feeling parched along with the dry ground. But, even while I pray for an unexpected soaking rain, both for the ground and for my soul, I’m rejoicing over the light shining on both. That intermingling of joy and grief. That knowledge that God is growing me with His light, even when I feel parched. The truth that, when the rains come and there are others who feel like they are drowning, I can empathize with and pray for them even as they can for my parched soul today.

And one day, we’ll rejoice in the perfection, all receiving nourishing together. That’s the day I long for.

Posted in Faith Nuggets, Thoughts, Thoughts from Scripture

What He Has Done

Posted on by Ann B. Hibbard

Revisiting another old post…this is a reminder that I needed today.

Every morning, I copy a few verses of Scripture. I love copying. It slows me down and makes me really think about what I am reading. Recently, Psalm 92:4 was the verse that made me pause.

Psalm 92 is a psalm of praise, which is nothing unusual. Psalms such as these abound, not only in the book of Psalms but throughout Scripture. I often seek out these songs when I am struggling to praise. They help me focus and redirect.

But, something about verse four of this particular psalm helped me realize why I do sometimes struggle with praise. Take a look at the verse with me.

For You, O Lord, have made me glad by what You have done, I will sing for joy at the works of Your hands.

The psalmist is focusing on what God has done, again a common theme in psalms of praise. But, truly pondering this truth made me realize something about myself.

I too often focus on what God has not done.

Sadly, focusing on what He hasn’t done comes quite easily. And the more we do it, the more easily it comes. Why? Because we love to focus on prayer requests. And not just prayer requests, but specific prayer requests. Physical healing. Marital healing. Provision. Open doors. Salvation.

When the answers we expect don’t come quickly, we pray harder. And we focus more and more on the reality that the healing is not coming. The marriage still fell apart. We were forced to make alternate decisions because the provision or open doors we expected were not there. And that loved one is still hardened to Christ Jesus.

Yes, it is very easy to notice all of the things He has not done.

It is much harder to stop, step back, and acknowledge what He has done, especially in the midst of disappointment over seemingly unanswered prayer. But that, my friends, is exactly what we must do.

What has God done around you this week? How has He shown His might? His power? His love? His creativity? His sense of humor? His majesty? His grace? His mercy? His protectiveness? His jealousy? His desire for a relationship with you?

How has He sought your attention? How has He reminded you of His Word? How has He used others around you to reveal Himself?

Once you start looking, you will be amazed by the infinite ways He has shown Himself this week. The incredible evidences of His handiwork will be overwhelming.

And, amazingly, the more you notice what He has done, the easier it will become – until one day you wake up and realize there is little, if anything, He hasn’t done.