Posted in Tool Box

Small Group Tool Box: Planning

In my last post about the Small Group Tool Box, we discussed the first tool, parameters, and how to use it to lay the ground work for any type of small group.

I opened with a heads up for those (probably a majority, to be honest!) who don’t intend to ever lead a small group. Guess what? You might have greater need of this tool box than you think! Even if you never lead a small group, you may still be a very integral part of getting a small group going.

One person may be excellent at setting parameters while another is skilled with our next tool: planning. Neither one may actually want or have the skills to lead the group, but they can definitely play a part.

Planning: Setting the Details

Planning fits hand-in-hand with setting parameters, but it steps up on the specifics. Once you have the parameters set, you can begin to lay down the details of what your small group will look like session after session.

A small group planner will have a handful of skills that help them rise above the chatter of ten gazillion preferences (an especially mind-boggling reality when you’re only dealing with a small group of people!) and find a solid, consistent format for the small group. Here are those skills:

1. Ability to see big but plan small

This skill comes in handy when trying to evaluate all sorts of things, from the specific resources being used to the meeting schedule.

“Seeing big” means that a planner is able to to recognize that this is just one small group. There will be other small groups. That means that other time frames can be available another time, as can other resources and plans. This understanding enables a planner to accomplish things like picking a meeting date and time or selecting a specific resource knowing that this is simply one opportunity out of many.

2. Ability to communicate a plan

Great ideas often fall apart due to lack of communication. A small group planner is able to recognize when approval is needed for material, when and how to reserve meeting space, how to communicate information to attendees or to anyone responsible for the organizational system.

Sometimes the communication needs are very simple. One person can set a time and place, pick a resource, and openly invite. But, more often than not, there are more people who need to be involved. Many small groups are subsets of a larger organization. This is true whether it’s a group of students (high school, college, whatever) meeting on a school campus, a Bible study group utilizing church resources, or even a small group of friends regularly meeting at a local coffee shop. Other people and organizations are involved, and sometimes making assumptions about availability can lead to unnecessary chaos.

A planner learns the skills necessary to communicate with all of them rather than simply throwing a group together and assuming that everything is going to fall into place around them.

3. Ability to communicate and work within the parameters

A small group planner cannot work outside of the overall concept. The planner is simply implementing the answers to the parameter questions. If the same person sets the parameters and makes the plans, that works beautifully. But if it’s two (or more) different people, there can be situations of disagreement.

The reality is that the planner is not there to assess the validity of a small group choice. The planner’s job is to take the ideas set by the parameter questions and turn them into a workable plan. Will some shifts have to take place to hash out details? Yes, without a doubt. But, ultimately, the planner is working out existing details and communicating the specifics of those details to all involved.

There are many people beautifully skilled at taking ideas and turning them into reality. If that’s you, this is your ideal Small Group Tool Box compartment! It may not sound glamorous or feel particularly fun and exciting (although it can be so incredibly satisfying to see a plan come together), but having the ability to hash out a plan is essential for taking an idea and turning it into a reality.

Next time we’ll get to the final tool in the box: presentation. Stay tuned!

Posted in Tool Box

Small Group Tool Box: Parameters

A couple of weeks ago, I shared Part 1 of the Small Group Tool Box thoughts. I mentioned that even if you never intend to lead a small group, this is still a great tool box to have on hand. The first couple of tools are a good example of why this is true. Even if you never teach or lead, you can be an integral part of building the framework.

Let’s take a look at our first tool.

Parameters: The Questions to Ask

Any small group must start with parameters, what you want your small group to look like. It’s a bit like laying a foundation for a house or building; this tool provides a picture or framework for what you want your small group to look like. This tool is essentially a list of parameter-setting questions you’ll ask yourself each time you want to start (or help someone else start) a small group. The answers will change and may vary widely from one opportunity to the next, but, the questions themselves are very stable.

1. What will the focus of the small group be?

While some small group types can overlap, ultimately you need to pick one primary focus. Perhaps you’re discussing starting a Bible study. That’s the foundational parameter. From there you can decide if you’re going to just look at a book of the Bible or find some kind of guide to use. The same would be true if we chose a book club or a hobby group.

2. What will the group composition look like?

Will there be a limit to the group size, or is it open to as many as our interested? While the term is technically “small group,” the concept of small can vary widely.

You will also need to consider if there is any exclusivity to your group. Will it be open to anyone? A mixed group or gender based? Targeted at a certain age group or a certain demographic such as parents of little ones?

This question also encompasses whether your group will be open or closed. That simply means addressing how easily someone can join a group after it has started. For instance, in certain book clubs or Bible studies, it can be hard for someone to jump in after the group has started because they will lack necessary context. And some groups, like mentoring groups, are always closed by nature. There is no other way to truly accomplish the purpose of the group.

Other groups have sessions that are a little more open. While there are advantages to being involved the whole time, new members can still join halfway through and not feel lost.

3. What is the scheduling capacity?

Is it a weekly meeting? Bimonthly? Monthly? This is less about looking at a calendar for availability and more about knowing the capacity of whoever will actually be leading the group, whether yourself or someone else. The details — what day of the week or time of day — will come later. You need to determine early on, though, what general scheduling will allow maximum investment in this group.

This applies both to the ability to consistently dedicate time for the meeting itself, but it also relates to the ability to invest and prepare. It might be that you know you can easily handle having a weekly book club because you can definitely read and be prepared to discuss a chapter each week. (Unless, of course, you’re tempted to devour the whole book in three days; in that case, a chapter a week seems to be terribly cruelty!) When it comes to leading Bible study, however, you may be processing that you’re also responsible for Sunday school lessons or other such responsibilities. So, in order to devote good preparation time, you might want to meet every two weeks.

4. What will the duration of this particular group be?

Some groups naturally lend themselves to long duration. For instance, if you have a hobby or book club, you can rotate through projects and just keep going as long as you can continue to coordinate the scheduling. Members can come and go depending on their personally availability or interest in the hobby or book.

Other groups, however, need to have very definite start and end points. For mentoring groups, an end point is a very important necessity. It doesn’t mean it has to be a short length of time. Eighteen to twenty-four months is not an unusual duration for a mentoring group. But, there must be an end date and a point where the mentees are then pushed to the next step of mentoring others, even if it’s an in-between step of being a co-mentor with someone more experienced.

Any closed group, by nature, should have an end point. This provides opportunities for rotation, letting current members interact with new concepts or people while also allowing new people to participate in a new rotation of the closed group.

Posted in What Works for Me, Work & Life

The Planner in Me: Life

Last week I shared a glimpse into my homeschool planning system. But, I know many of my readers are not homeschoolers. So, what do I do for the rest of life?

Well, the first system that really seemed to work for me was Franklin Covey. I had a really nice binder, and I ordered planner inserts every year. I used that system for three years, I believe. The biggest problem from me was the size. The binder I used was lovely and sturdy, but it was not incredibly convenient to carry around. It did not fit in my purse, so it had to be carried separately. That got a little awkward. I had tried a variety of pre-bound planners, but I never found anything – even among the Franklin Covey planners – that matched what worked for me through the customized Franklin Covey inserts. That really offered the best layout, but the bulk just got to be too much.

For a while, I tried to to make digital planning my primary go-to system, updating in my Franklin Covey paper planner when I was at home. But, I had trouble keeping up with that. The story was the same when I tried to carry a smaller calendar in my purse, updating my big planner at home. So, my next step was trying to go all digital. I was just not very good at that, either. I’ve tried. Really I have. But, it is so hard for me to see the “big picture” on my phone. It’s also hard to flip to information quickly. And, just about the time I really need something, technology outsmarts itself, something doesn’t sync, and I cannot retrieve my information. Yes, it is inconvenient sometimes when I neglect to carry my planner around (which really isn’t very common) or when a date is beyond the end of my planner. But ultimately, it is so much easier for me to flip open that planner than to try to find what I need on my phone. And, I keep up with it better. I can much more quickly jot notes in the planner than tap them into my phone. So, it didn’t take long for me to give up on the digital planner idea.

About four years ago, as I transitioned from being a volunteer reviewer for Well Planned Gal to being an editor on her staff, I also expanded my usage of her planners and gave On the Go a try. This is a purse-size planner (unless you carry one of those little bitty purses!) that does everything my Franklin Covey system did, but is much easier to carry around! It has spots for to-do lists, time-focused appointments, and extra notes. The monthly view pages are easy to write in, and there is plenty of room for notes for each month.

The only problem with my On the Go planner is that it is a school year planner, and life and church tend to go more on the calendar year. To solve that problem, I have a simple, hardcover Moleskine weekly planner. It has all of the monthly views in the front, and the weekly views follow. On the weekly views, the calendar page is on the left and a note page is on the right. I do not like this layout as a primary planner, but it works so incredibly well for a secondary planner. I use it as my prayer planner and to keep dates and information for July – Dec. Thanks to the combination of these two paper planners, I always have anywhere from nine to eighteen months of planner space available to me!

That’s such a quick overview of my planner organization system, but if you are by some chance trying to figure out a great organizational system, maybe my overview and the links above will help you get a better idea of what you’re looking for! Or perhaps you already have your system working well. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: what works for me will not work for everyone. So I’d love to hear what works for you! Will you share it in the comments?

Posted in Homeschooling, What Works for Me, Work & Life

The Planner in Me: Homeschool

I’m a planner. I’ve always loved calendars and planners and getting things all lined out! Recently, my husband wrote a blog post outlining what he uses for schedule and organization. When I shared it on social media, I mentioned that I would outline my own system soon.

My system actually started with success on the homeschool planning front first. I have tried many, many planners and organizational systems over the years, both for homeschooling and for life. All of them kinda sorta worked, but each one left something to be desired. Then, I ran across a huge discount on a planner that only had a few months of life left in it. That was early 2011; it was also my very first Well Planned Day planner. Later that year I would become a volunteer reviewer for the Well Planned Gal, the creator of the planner. But for the time being, I was just trying out a planner I’d never heard of from a company I was only vaguely familiar with.

And I was hooked.

This gal who had tried one planner after another and rarely been diligent with any single planning system had suddenly found the one homeschool planner that truly worked. And now, six years later, I actually get to help make them! Why yes, I do love my job.

Ahem…back to the task at hand. So, why do I love Well Planned Day so much? Well, it accomplishes what I had always looked for before. It allows me to lay out assignments on a weekly basis in a large, roomy format. For even greater ease of use, I keep a colorful array of Frixion pens on hand. (Yes, they really do erase well – very important for when the schedule needs to be tweaked.) Each child has a color of their own, then there is a separate color for things I do with each child. When each assignment has been graded, I write the grade beside the assignment. Then I highlight the assignment, leaving the grade un-highlighted until I have entered it.

So, where do I enter the grade? Well, that’s part two of my homeschool planning system. You see, I don’t like to plan on paper more than a week or two in advance because of all of the little things that pop up and require us to change the plan. But, I do like to have a handle on the whole school year. That’s why I also use My Well Planned Day, an online planning software. I lay out the entire school year online, then I can tweak it as needed each week. It saves me a ton of time and allows me to stay on top of where we are. And, it’s a great place to keep grades, which is especially helpful now that I have a high school student who will need a transcript soon. Oh, and the best part is that the girls each have their own login. So, they can get on, pull each day’s assignments, and make notes in their own student and high school planners. In the next couple of years, I’ll teach Steven how to do the same thing.

What’s neat about it all is that I got to spend last weekend showing other homeschool parents what works for me. I helped Rebecca the Well Planned Gal, aka my boss, man her booth at the Ft. Worth Great Homeschool Convention. Yes, I was working. But, the whole time I was also getting to share what works for me (and getting to spend time with my amazing boss!). What works for me doesn’t work for everyone, and I was quick to admit that this weekend. It’s fun, though, to know that I get to be a part of sharing the system that I love!

Next week I’ll share what I use for everything beyond homeschooling.

Posted in Thoughts from Life, What Works for Me

Looking Back

I forget things. Quite easily, in fact. So, I need a lot of reminders. That’s part of why I started blogging – as a sort of online scrapbook for family events and online journal for thoughts I’ve processed and lessons I’ve learned. Sometimes I look back just to remember the sweet things I’ve experienced.

Other times I need to look back in order to progress forward. Old ideas and experience spur new ones. Tips I shared at a time when things were going smoothly for me (at least in that one area!) help me get over humps when my own road is not so smooth.

I also need to look back sometimes to see how far I’ve come. Recently, I went back and reread some of my earliest blog posts. Wow! There are some I’m tempted to unpublish! But, they remind me of how much I have learned. How practice does bring improvement – at least, I hope I’ve improved!

Finally, looking back motivates me to start new things. It reminds me that, once upon a time, I got started on something that is now a natural part of life. I have several things on my “want to accomplish eventually” list, and right now they seem to be rather daunting. But, so was blogging, once upon a time. So was knitting. Teaching. Editing. Homeschooling. Some of them are still daunting. But, I’m doing them, and they have become a part of normal life – because at some point along the way, I just started.

So, I choose to look back.

My sweet husband handed me a couple of sheets of paper this week. They are all about looking back in order to progress forward. They guide me through finding the good things that happened over the course of 2016. They are helping me look back.

And by taking the time to look back, my hope is that I will be spurred to progress, improve, and begin in 2017.
What helps you move forward?

Posted in Marriage

Commitment Considerations

My husband and I frequently get text messages, phone calls, face-to-face questions asking for a commitment to this event or that get-together. When can we meet? Can you attend this? Would you like to join us for that? Can your kids go to this?

So often there is a press to make the decision right now. With calendars on our smart phones, families constantly going ten gazillion different directions, and a society inclined to fill every second with something, it is counter-cultural to respond by saying that we cannot commit to something without stepping back and discussing it as a family – or, at the very least, as a couple.

May I suggest that it is okay, and even advisable, to be counter-cultural when it comes to your commitments (among other things!)? Whether we are committing time, finances, energy, or other resources, being together in commitments is a critical foundation for marriage. Fortunately, it doesn’t take a lot to be unified when making commitments. It simply takes intentional consideration.

Boundaries

We all know that children crave boundaries, whether they admit it or not. They might push them or even defy them, but there is comfort in knowing those boundaries are there. They know what to expect and when to expect it when the boundaries are set and affirmed through both positive and negative discipline.

Commitments are no different. When a couple sets boundaries, they provide a security for their marriage and their whole family. Is a daily or weekly family dinner important? Set boundaries around it and establish clear guidelines regarding a handful of interruptions that can automatically override the established family meal. This doesn’t mean that everything else is automatically trumped by family dinner, but it does mean that anything outside the agreed-upon interruptions must be discussed before a decision is made.

The same would go for date night, a family sabbath, or other regularly established routines. By setting and then protecting your boundaries, the whole family automatically knows what outside commitments must automatically be turned down.

Personalities

Are you an extrovert married to an introvert? Or a night owl married to an early bird? If you and your spouse differ in your social personalities, balance is a huge deal. Just as you need a recharge on one end of the spectrum, your spouse needs it on the other. Even if you have similar personality inclinations, commit to being mindful of each other’s needs. Be willing to sacrifice for one another, but also be open about your needs. If one of you is constantly being fueled while the other is being drained, your relationship will not be healthy.

Of course, it’s important to also be mindful of the rest of the family, realizing that it’s not just Mom and Dad’s personalities and needs at stake. Consider in advance when it’s okay to divide and conquer and when the whole family needs to stay together. When can the decision be automatically made by one member of the family and when does a discussion need to be had?

Choices

There will still be times – many times, I’m sure! – when opportunities or obligations arise that do not fit neatly into the plan, even when boundaries are set and personalities are taken into consideration. We all know how important it is to communicate openly and well with one another. But sometimes we have to make decisions before we have a chance to discuss or communicate.

The best way to handle decisions like these is by being prepared beforehand.

  • Have a weekly calendar date. Discuss the upcoming week in detail, but also discuss any adjustments that have been made for the current month and the upcoming month. This will reduce the chances of double-booking or overloading the schedule.
  • Communicate potential commitments. Do you know that your parents are looking to plan something, but don’t have a date yet? Maybe some friends want to find a time to get together or a group you are involved in will need extra meeting times to complete a project. Go ahead and put those things on your spouse’s radar.
  • Set a “maxed out” guideline. Like with your boundaries, communicating this in advance, you know when you must say no to avoid overcommitting.
  • Determine in advance how often you will go separate ways. You don’t have to do everything together, nor do you want to divide and conquer all the time. Decide in advance what thr balance looks like for your marriage and for your family as a whole.

Once a decision is made, be quick to inform him of your choice. Establish a foundation of trust that gives him confidence in your decision-making process. And offer him the same trust.